order chaos

Seeking Order In The Aftermath Of Loss

Eleanor wrote a pretty great post on shattered assumptions about the world after a death, and she described the following as a common reaction: “The sense that their death was meaningless may ultimately lead to the question of “Why?!?” “Why did they have to die? Why did this happen to me? Who is at fault? …

PicMonkey Collage1

More Than Just a Teapot: The items that connect past and present

The acorn necklace my sister, Jessie, gave me the Christmas after my mom died is in this twisted, tangled mess of silver chains and baubles.  It’s the same kind of necklace my mother wore when she was sick. At that time she told us that the acorn stood for strength, but acorns had been special …

grief is love

Grief is Love

What is grief in relation to love? Quite often I think they’re the same thing. When people think of love, most often they think of hearts, romance, and warm-fuzzies, but love is far more complicated.  Love is positive and amazing, yes, but it can also feel very very bad.   Love can hurt.  Love can cause …


The Moments that Matter: Looking at life in hindsight

I didn’t have a meaningful moment with my mother before she died. Well, that’s not true, my life with her was filled with meaningful moments. I guess what I mean is that I never had the Hollywood Moment that, in the movies, is part and parcel of death by terminal illness. My mother never sat in her bed, …

regrief faces over the lifespan

Grief and Regrief (aka growing up with a grief monster)

So there‘s this thing called grief.  You’ve probably heard of it.  You probably wish you hadn’t heard of it.  There is also ambiguous grief, and cumulative grief, and secondary grief, and anticipatory grief, and traumatic grief and lots of other kinds of grief.  You’ve probably heard of most of these if you have spent much time …

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