Grief Makes You Crazy


The Truth about Posttraumatic Growth After Loss

Litsa and I have long had a bee in our bonnet over the rhetoric around grief self-help.  Not all grief self-help of course, but specifically that which puts forth the notion that, with the proper perspective, a person’s grief will become a vehicle for “transformation” “renewal” “self-discovery” or “metamorphosis”.  Although I can’t claim that these ideas are …


Ongoing Relationships With Those who Have Died

I cling to scraps of my mother.  I’ll take anything I can get. I’ve extracted all that I can from my memories; turning each one over in my mind, carefully searching for something I might have forgotten. I’ve poured over her letters and notes which I keep tucked away among keepsakes of more obvious sentimentality. Here’s a lock of …


Life with a Grief Monster

This is my grief monster. He was born the day my mother died. I was really frightened of him at first and I thought the best thing I could do was fight him.  For a long time I tried really hard to keep him locked up in the darkest corner of my mind, but he always …


Grief and Negative Coping

Today I want to have a no-frills, straightforward discussion about grief and negative coping. People commonly engage in negative coping (c’mon, you know you do), especially people who have experienced the death of a loved one.  Although many will eventually find constructive ways to cope with their experiences and emotions, others will become stuck in a cycle …

FI letting go

Grief and The Fear of Letting Go

In the beginning, grief is a fog; a thick, dense, and never ending barrier between you and the world as you once knew it. At one point you figured it would lift, as fog tends to do, but after days and then weeks spent under its heavy cloak, you begin to wonder if it’s become a part of your everyday life. In those moments, you might have thought, …


Family Misunderstanding After a Death

Ahhhh family. Family, family, family. Family can be great, but that’s not what this post is about.  This post is about death and grief and all those times you’ve looked at a family member and said – “who are you?” “what are you doing? ” “where were you?” “when did you turn into someone I don’t know?” …

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