Grief Makes You Crazy

woman in mysterious dark forest,illustration painting

Anxiety in Grief

Think of something that scares you. Perhaps it’s the thought of giving a speech in front of a crowd, taking a test, asking your crush out on a date, or jumping out of an airplane. Even if you’re mostly fearless, everyone’s got something. Now think about the thoughts and sensations you typically experience right before doing this thing that …

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Eight Times Grief Made Me Feel Ugly, Mean, or Crazy

Society has created this narrative that idealizes the idea of grieving with grace.  You have probably seen it in the movies, in books, and subtly being reinforced when people compliment you on how strong you are and how you are handling things with such poise.  Poise . . . blech, I had a slight gag …


The Unique Loneliness of Grief

Most people don’t think in depth about the idea of loneliness. Loneliness is one of those concepts we assume we know. We equate it to the very definable concept of being alone, which means “without other people”, and thanks to “lonely people” archetypes — like the spinster with 10 cats and the misunderstood teenager — we …

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Seeking Order In The Aftermath Of Loss

Eleanor wrote a pretty great post on shattered assumptions about the world after a death, and she described the following as a common reaction: “The sense that their death was meaningless may ultimately lead to the question of “Why?!?” “Why did they have to die? Why did this happen to me? Who is at fault? …

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More Than Just a Teapot: The items that connect past and present

The acorn necklace my sister, Jessie, gave me the Christmas after my mom died is in this twisted, tangled mess of silver chains and baubles.  It’s the same kind of necklace my mother wore when she was sick. At that time she told us that the acorn stood for strength, but acorns had been special …


The Moments that Matter: Looking at life in hindsight

I didn’t have a meaningful moment with my mother before she died. Well, that’s not true, my life with her was filled with meaningful moments. I guess what I mean is that I never had the Hollywood Moment that, in the movies, is part and parcel of death by terminal illness. My mother never sat in her bed, …

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