Musings and Stylings

Conceptualizing Progress in Grief

We often use the simile that grief is like a journey and while grief is a little bit like a journey, it’s not the perfect comparison.  The word ‘journey’ is not quite right because (1) I think it makes grief sound way more exciting than it is and (2) journeys are usually direct and typically have an endpoint. Grieving is …

Eight Times Grief Made Me Feel Ugly, Mean, or Crazy

Society has created this narrative that idealizes the idea of grieving with grace.  You have probably seen it in the movies, in books, and subtly being reinforced when people compliment you on how strong you are and how you are handling things with such poise.  Poise . . . blech, I had a slight gag …

Problem Solving Grief

Grief isn’t a problem that can be solved. I want to make sure we’re all clear on this before proceeding. Agree? Great. Now that we’re all on the same page, let’s talk about problem solving. I know I know, I just said, “grief is not a problem that can be solved”, and it isn’t.  But here’s the deal, WYG …

More Than Just a Teapot: The items that connect past and present

The acorn necklace my sister, Jessie, gave me the Christmas after my mom died is in this twisted, tangled mess of silver chains and baubles.  It’s the same kind of necklace my mother wore when she was sick. At that time she told us that the acorn stood for strength, but acorns had been special …

grief is love

Grief is Love

What is grief in relation to love? Quite often I think they’re the same thing. When people think of love, most often they think of hearts, romance, and warm-fuzzies, but love is far more complicated.  Love is positive and amazing, yes, but it can also feel very very bad.   Love can hurt.  Love can cause …

The Moments that Matter: Looking at life in hindsight

I didn’t have a meaningful moment with my mother before she died. Well, that’s not true, my life with her was filled with meaningful moments. I guess what I mean is that I never had the Hollywood Moment that, in the movies, is part and parcel of death by terminal illness. My mother never sat in her bed, …


Load More Posts
6 / 51 Loaded