16 Tips for Continuing Bonds with People We've Lost

Understanding Grief / Understanding Grief : Litsa Williams



For further articles on these topics:


With decades of grief theory that focused on closure, acceptance, and moving on, it is no wonder that so many grievers feel self-conscious about maintaining ties with their deceased loved one after a certain period of time. We posted a few weeks ago about the Continuing Bonds Theory of Grief.  If you read the post, hopefully you know that—when it comes to grief theory—oh the times they are a ’changin’!  Many now believe that healthy grief involves finding a new and different relationship with the person who died.  Check out the post here if you missed it.

If you love the Continuing Bonds Theory (which we know many of you do!), you may be looking for ways to continue bonds with your loved one. We have some ideas here, and we hope you will add others that we missed by leaving a comment below. Some may be things you hadn’t thought about, many may be things you already do but thought meant that your grief was unhealthy or you weren’t ‘moving on’ like you should. Either way, hopefully you will find some tips on our list that resonate with you.


1. Talk to Them.

Really! It’s okay—it doesn’t mean you’re crazy! The fact that we don’t have a post about this is mind-boggling to me because talking to a loved one who died is something we certainly do, it is something many (dare I say most?) grievers do, and it can bring a lot of comfort during the moments you miss them most.  So talk away, be it out loud or in your head. This is a common way we continue a relationship with your loved one.


2. Write Letters to the Person You Lost.  

This is something you can do in a journal, on the computer, or in actual letters. There is an online resource to make writing even easier for you called AfterTalk where you can write privately to loved ones using their interactive writing tools. You can do it weekly, monthly, annually... whatever works for you. 

You can keep the letters or you can get rid of them.  If you choose the latter and you have physical letters, you can do it in creative ways: You can tear them up and collage with them, paint over them in an art journal, or whatever else works for you. No matter where you write them or what you do with them, these letters keep you connected with your loved one in the present. If you are looking for inspiration, check out this post on thought catalog: "An Open Letter to My Dead Best Friend".


3. Keep Photos of the Person Around.  

This may seem absurdly obvious, but there will be people who make you feel uncomfortable about keeping photos. For example, a woman who wrote in to Ask Amy expressing concern that her widowed boyfriend still had pictures of his wife around.  She didn’t ask our opinion, but luckily we decided to share what we thought anyway.  Keeping photos around keeps us connected with our loved one and often helps us remember the ways that person continues to influence our lives.


4. Incorporate Your Loved One into Events and Special Days

For example, check out our suggestions for how you can remember your loved one on your wedding dayOr consider leaving an empty chair at holiday meals (or doing something else!) to honor your loved one. Discuss as a family other ways that you may want to involve your loved one’s memory at special events. You will certainly be thinking of them on these big days, so there is no reason to keep that inside if you want to find a more open way to involve your loved one in the event.


5. Imagine What Advice They Would Give You When Making Tough Decisions.  

Big decisions are often overwhelming and, when you have lost the person who you would have talked it over with, it can be especially hard. Imagining a conversation with them, what they would have said, and the advice they might have given can help us feel connected and also help make big life choices a little easier. We wrote about a journal exercise for wedding day advice, but this can apply to anything and everything.


6. Talk About Them with New People, Who Never Got to Know Your Loved One.   

There will often be new and important people in your life who did not know your loved one.  It may be new friends, a significant other, or children who never had the opportunity to meet your loved one when they were alive.   

Find ways to tell new people about your loved one, sharing stories or photos. This is a way that your loved one’s legacy continues and you continue to keep them in your life as you move forward.  In case you thought it was easy, you can read about my experience with new friends after the death of my dad here.


7. Live Your Life in a Way You Know They Would Be Proud Of

Be it a spouse, a parent, grandparent, child, or friend, we often struggle knowing our loved one won’t be there for accomplishments and milestones. Taking time to recognize that your loved one would be proud of you for a specific accomplishment can be comforting and remind us how we continue to be connected to our loved one.


8. Finish a Project They Were Working On

Be it a project around the house, a piece of artwork, a team they coached, or a volunteer project they were involved in, consider picking up where they left off. This can help you learn new things about your loved one, continue your connection with them in the present, and continue their legacy.


9. Take a Trip They Always Wanted to Take

Though this one may sound depressing, I have known many grievers who have found comfort in this.  Death can make us realize that life is short. We may ourselves be feeling inspired to travel and this can help us travel in a way that is meaningful in our grief.  

On trips like this, we may feel close to our loved one, imagining how they would have felt about the trip.  It can be tough, certainly bittersweet, but for some people comforting. A great example of this is the movie “The Way”:


10. Maintain Their Facebook Page. This is more and more common and Facebook has even got the process in place to support it: You can request a memorialization page through Facebook here. Keeping up a Facebook page allows the person’s friends to keep interacting on their wall, keeping an ongoing relationship with the person.


11. Adopt a Hobby That They Enjoyed. This one may push you out of your comfort zone, but... If they loved to knit, learn to knit. If they loved to garden, learn to garden. It may not end up being the right fit for you, but either way, people often feel a closeness with their loved one in the process.


12. Create a Dear Photograph.  Eleanor wrote a great post about Dear Photograph, a way to take a photo from the past and capture it in the present. She created her own, which you should absolutely check out! It can be a powerful symbolic reminder of the ways our loved ones still impact us in the present.


13. Plan for the Anniversary

Though it may feel like everyone else has moved on, you should not feel embarrassed or self-conscious about planning something in memory of your loved each year on the anniversary of their death or another special day. Be it a small, personal ritual or a large event, find something that works for you.  Check out our 30 Suggestions for the Anniversary of Your Loved One's Death here.


14. Keep Something That Belonged to Your Loved One

You can’t keep everything (even though sometimes it is very hard to part with items!), but keeping a few meaningful items can be extremely powerful. This could be an item they owned or an item they gave you. Either way, there can be comfort found in these items, as they make us feel close to our loved one. 

Of note, there is a study floating around out there that says keeping belongings can cause increased sadness. This has not been my personal experience, nor is it the experience of many grievers I have worked with, which is why I have included this tip. That said, it may not be ideal for everyone.


15. Enjoy Comfort Foods. In this case, comfort foods are foods that remind you of your loved one.  Making a recipe your loved one always made or eating one of your loved one’s favorite foods can bring back great memories and continue to connect us to our loved ones in everyday activities, like cooking and eating. You can read about the times I tried—with varying degrees of success—to make my grandmother's holiday cookies and my dad's favorite cake. You can also check out our Grief Recipe Stories series here.


16. Experience Your Loved One’s Presence.  

It is common to feel the presence of your loved one: It may just be a feeling, it may be a specific type of wind or bird or countless other things that seem to be a sign of our loved one’s presence. Unlike the studies about keeping something that belonged to your loved one, feeling your loved one’s presence has been shown in studies to ease the sadness that accompanies grief. So when you feel your loved one’s presence, feel it without apology or any worry that you are crazy! This is a normal and helpful way we continue bonds with our loved one


Alright, we know we missed tons of ideas. Bring ‘em on, leave a comment

For more about Continuing Bonds, check out these articles:

We wrote a book!

After writing online articles for What’s Your Grief
for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible,
real-life book!

After writing online articles for What’s Your Grief for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible, real-life book!

What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss.

You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:

Let’s be grief friends.

We post a new article to What’s Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

Related Blog Posts

Related Blog Posts

See More

241 Comments on "16 Tips for Continuing Bonds with People We've Lost"

Click here to leave a Comment
  1. Jenny  April 23, 2023 at 2:49 pm Reply

    I lost my lovely husband 7 weeks ago. Steve was and still is my soulmate. I will always want to keep him alive in my memory. I do not see myself as his widow. I am still very much married to him and always will be. I have his ashes at home with me and our daughter and I speak to him every day. I still cant believe he is gone. I read the article and you make a lot of sense. I always want a relationship with him. I sign cards with his name still. I also plan to include Steve in everything I do. I also wear his tops and jumpers to feel close to him. I have a necklace with his fingerprint embossed on it so I can touch it to feel close to him. I also have a necklace with a small amount of his ashes in and his wedding ring on. Nothing prepares you to lose the love of your life. I always want to feel a bond with Steve. I know in time people might feel it isnt healthy but its my life and I need to feel a connection to my hubby.

    6
  2. Clarence Willmes  December 11, 2022 at 11:01 am Reply

    much thanks to you for an awesome post.

    1
  3. Andrea  November 9, 2022 at 1:22 am Reply

    Dear Jayden,
    My amazing son, I miss you so much, it hurts so bad, the pain is unbearable and i just want to rip my heart out of my chest to make it stop sometimes!! I also have times when i feel you with me, i know you are there, and i can almost feel you put your arms around me and say how much you loved me and how importaint I was to you!!! I love you with everything inside of me and i miss you and everything about you all day everyday!!
    Love,
    Your Mom
    Forever my son
    LLJ
    JAY’S WORLD

    10
  4. Erma  August 11, 2022 at 4:58 pm Reply

    I closed my eyes,and seen this figure,as it cleared up it was my Dad ,he was smiling,…. What does this mean? I’ve been very sick with cancer,is this God’s way of telling me my Dad looking after me?

    5
  5. Kristi  July 27, 2022 at 3:08 pm Reply

    I always hear about “continuing bonds”. What if the living person perhaps feels a stronger bond with the deceased? Or, what about one-sided love? Can bonds and love grow or strengthen on the other side?

    The specific person is someone I’ve known since early childhood. We reconnected 20 years later (briefly). I just learned he died 15 years ago in his 40’s. I did ask him to give me an obvious & clear sign he could hear me & the following 3 days received 3 very clear signs that left no doubt in my mind. Should I assume since he answered me, he feels a bond with me? Thank you so much!

    6
    • Litsa  July 28, 2022 at 4:33 pm Reply

      Kristi – I wish we could answer that! You can only go by what your gut tells you and what you believe about signs. Continuing Bonds as a concept is about your own internal connection – the way you honor, connect, and remember. But if you feel a deeper connection, there is no reason not to take comfort in that.

      3
  6. Peter Maxwell  May 30, 2022 at 1:04 am Reply

    Grief is really something that you just get over or recover from. It’s clearly something that we must all go through and slowly survive with. I myself was so devastated with the loss of my Father. The urn necklace for men that I got was something that I really held on to during those tough times.

    3
  7. Robyn  May 23, 2022 at 11:30 am Reply

    Lost my father 9/11/2021. Not even a year yet and I have noticed items in my place either a music box going off, that I ran back in Dec 2021. And a balloon floated towards me and back – this balloon represented my dad due to Dementia. I am confused if there are spirits in my home due to having his ashes. Or for whatever reason. Help!

    3
  8. Nilu Mukesh Yadav  March 25, 2022 at 1:49 am Reply

    I am in a relationship with my fiance(10+ years long distance relation) with whom I physically got detached(I don’t like using the word dead) last year Feb.
    I do most of the things u mentioned above coz I can’t think of loosing him even for a second. I don’t want him to leave me ever. I know our relation will continue even beyond this planet and I am waiting to reunite n be with him.
    I have kept all his belongings with me as it keeps him close to me. I am typing this comment from his phone itself as I am using it.
    Though I have left people I knew coz they never try to understand me n according to them I should move on. They gives me loads of advice about leading my life instead of ot knowing my pain as they can’t know.
    Hence I share my memories and talk abt him about us to people I meet anywhere n everywhere.
    I never miss or hide any moment which is related to him be it a movie,his liking,his habits anything.
    He is the one who has loves me the most n will always do.
    I have started preparing for the exam he always wishes to and would be proud of.
    He is all I had I have n I will have.
    Your article gave me alot of comfort.
    Thanks for sharing.

    15
  9. Tina  March 2, 2022 at 7:37 am Reply

    I’m don’t how to feel or think my bf, my besfriend, my comforter passed away on the 23rd. I don’t how to feel or think I’m lost and feel so sad, hurt and guilt. He was living in the streets, I was in a relationship but he was still wanting to be with me and he loved me unconditionally. At times I use to not let him in or ill let him in but he was depression doing drugs and recently passed away was in the hospital 6 days with no ID and finally die 23rd went in on the 17th smh so I didn’t get that chance to see him and comfort him is what killing me and also the family having him cremated and won’t be no body due to no money and all the things they did to him as they fought for him while in the hospital tryna stay alive. So hurt can’t believe and don’t know what life bring but I hope the best so broken

    11
  10. Vicky  February 16, 2022 at 11:06 pm Reply

    January 23.2022..i lost my only daughter at 25yrs..My heart is broken..the pain is unbearable..My life is shattered.. I will never be the same…took ur advise…it will take time..writing does helps

    11
    • Sue  July 18, 2022 at 9:57 am Reply

      To Vicky I lost my daughter on the 19th December aged 24 she was diagnosed with cancer in august we took her home at the end of November and passed away 2 weeks later she was a nurse we are struggling so much to cope with it

      6
  11. Peter Maxwell  February 13, 2022 at 7:06 am Reply

    I think memorial jewelry is a great way to deal with it. I just got a beautiful urn necklace for Dad. I really recommend the necklace as a memorial keepsake.

    6
  12. Carol  February 9, 2022 at 7:46 pm Reply

    Thanks for the practical information on your website. Four years and counting every day since I lost my Mum. The comments made me realize others are in the same space I am with continuing to feel loss, regrets, and guilt. I could have done more, could have said things. It never gets easier for me. Everyone else here has moved on; I can’t. I made a collage of 60+ photos of my Mum throughout the years and had it made into a jigsaw puzzle. She loved puzzles. This year I created some little personalized paper hugs with a ‘forget-me-not’ note and slipped them into my Christmas cards along with a photo of my Mum. My brother and I started an annual scholarship fund in her memory. It helps a bit to do something positive in her memory. Meditation helps with the grief. Sleep stories from the Calm app have been a tremendous help too; otherwise I lie awake over-thinking the past.

    9
  13. Mary  January 20, 2022 at 7:33 pm Reply

    If your loved one was cremated, there are many ways to always have them with you. For example, necklace and bracelet urns.

    5
  14. Sabrina  January 12, 2022 at 2:29 am Reply

    My boyfriend committed suicide on my property, he hung himself. Is there something I should do to give him closer. Should I get my place blessed. Idk. I feel him around all the time.

    6
    • Litsa  January 23, 2022 at 10:47 pm Reply

      I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. Perhaps others will share their thoughts. But I think if there is a ritual that feels like it would be meaningful or that he would have appreciated, and if you’ve been thinking about it and feeling a lack of resolution around it, it could be a nice thing to do.

      4
    • Steven Laidley  May 13, 2022 at 8:51 pm Reply

      when my mother passed, she did not leave immediately. I was touched every day on the back of my neck for about three weeks, even now she still checks in on me, but not as frequently

      4
    • Larry Swint  July 8, 2022 at 6:39 am Reply

      I lost my beautiful wife on August 12,2020. We had been together and married for 36 years. When I met Bonnie she had left an abusive marriage and I was separated and getting a divorce. I was working on weekends bartending when her sister introduced her to me and something happened to me that never happened before. We started talking and I noticed that she would come to that bar and set there talking to me. I already knew how I felt about her and we started going out and then dating, one night I went to open the door for her and I looked in her beautiful brown eyes and said I’m falling in love with you. We both had left bad marriages but we had so much in common, we both had kids, we found out that we grew up about 3 miles from each other and went to the same elementary school. I was 3 months and 1 day older than she was and we had kids from our ex’s. I have never been loved before the way Bonnie loved me and I never loved someone the way I loved her. She said she could see the love in my eyes the way I loved her. We moved in together before we married and through it all it was amazing. She was everything to me we never talked about separating or divorce, we said I love you all the time and we would call each other darling, sweetheart and baby a lot more than using our names. All the years together we were very affectionate with each other, holding hands, setting next to each other. All those amazing years and one day she fixed me breakfast one morning and kissed me by and said I love you, see you when you get home from work. I got a call that my beautiful wife stopped breathing and she was gone when I got home. Everyday I miss her and cry thinking about her. I have always told Bonnie that she is the love of my life, my dream come true, nobody could ever take her place not even for 1 second and I couldn’t live without her. I never thought it would hurt this bad,Ive never felt pain like this before. Together we have 4 kids and I didn’t know how important they would be, without them I wouldn’t have made it this far. It’s been almost 2 years and I tell her 100’s of times everyday, I love you and miss you so much. I read her text over and over and have found on her phone were she had saved a lot of them from several years. I put on FB on special occasions that I love her so much and my love for her still grows everyday and there never will be anyone else. I will forever be in love with her always. We said a long time ago that we had made love enough to last a lifetime. I never cheated on her or hit her. She really was beautiful, and on the inside to she had a heart of gold. I’m 65 and I believe God brought us together, I was so lucky to have someone like her and I will always be hers. I have a lot of happy memories of all of us together, but I also hurt and cry for her everyday. I have her pictures everywhere and in my car to. I hate being a widower, I am a husband to a beautiful wife with wings. I love you so much darling and I always will. Your loving husband Larry

      15
  15. Maureen  January 9, 2022 at 5:00 pm Reply

    I just lost my mother yesterday, I’m overwhelmed with guilt, she fell and no one was there to help her. I should’ve stayed with her, she was 95, still living at home with visiting caretakers and my sister making frequent visits. I just want time to go backwards, so I can see her again. I’m so devastated.

    10
    • Litsa  January 23, 2022 at 11:25 pm Reply

      Maureen, we have many posts about coping with guilt and regret that might be useful for you. I am so sorry for your loss. https://whatsyourgrief.com/?s=guilt&post_type=post

      4
      • nils  April 1, 2022 at 11:53 am

        Yeah, but the best any of them have to offer (unless you really truly believe you can talk to the dead) is “just don’t feel that way”.

      • Litsa  June 5, 2022 at 3:37 pm

        That’s the opposite of what they say . . . we are big believers that you must experience and feel guilt, not dismiss it or stop feeling it (unless it is unwarranted, which is different). Many times we have reason to feel guilt and regret, and from that we must decide how we move forward with those feelings. It may be through making amends, self-compassion, or self-forgiveness. But those don’t eliminate feeling guilt – those are simply paths to learning to live with it. Sometimes the guilt changes, sometimes it doesn’t and we just get better able to carry it.

        2
  16. Michael Ames  December 29, 2021 at 9:11 am Reply

    I do a lot of these things, I journal to her every day and talk to her out loud some times. Her pictures are everywhere. I like some of the other ideas like doing a project we wanted to do. Thank you for this list.

    3
  17. Chintala Govind  December 22, 2021 at 10:35 am Reply

    My DaDy went to Haven.its been 25 days and am waiting for my Dady. he promised me always stay with us mom me brother sister still can’t believes empty house with Dady. i started wearing all Dad cloths watch shoes cap coat am using his blankets room everything i wish we could sit and talk like we used to Dady.I miss our talks i miss your advice dady come soon we waiting for you.or else call me there dady.love you so much

    12
  18. Seun  November 26, 2021 at 11:59 am Reply

    I lost my dear peaceful Mum exactly two weeks ago, she was just 57. I feel a lot of things, denial, anger, guilt and many other things. I can’t stop crying. I don’t want to forget her voice, I can’t tho, cos I hear her in my mind all the time. I can’t believe I will go home after school session and not meet her at home. She always cooked me a special meal after school session. She would call me multiple times in a day just to say ‘ i wanted to greet you ‘. I still feel like I am dreaming. I think about how better I should have been to her but then I am consoled that I never gave her misery . She loved me, she loved everyone, and I am scared that soon , she will fade out of their memories. I still hope this is all a big nightmare that I am going to wake up from. I can’t wait to wake up. I feel like I am falling into depression. I miss my mummy.

    10
  19. Diane  September 29, 2021 at 9:43 am Reply

    I have been grieving over the loss of my dear husband for the past 5 months. Actually, I have been doing exactly as your tips described and because of comments of family and some friends, I thought whatever I was doing was wrong. I am so very grateful to you for making me feel that the way I am grieving is normal. Thank you this has given me great encouragement and hope for my future alone.
    God bless you, Diane

    20
  20. Patricia  September 14, 2021 at 5:19 pm Reply

    I lost my mother about a month back. Having lived with her all my life and being her caregiver, I’m feeling the emptiness. I’m not yet ready to give away her things, like her clothes. My brother says the faster I give them away the faster the soul gets released. He feels I’m holding my mother back by hanging on to her stuff. Am I doing something wrong in not wanting to give her stuff away so soon. What are people’s thoughts on this.

    9
    • Cathy  October 15, 2021 at 8:45 pm Reply

      Hi Patricia, I’m in the exact same boat as you. I also just lost my dear Mother and was her caregiver for the past 6 years. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. She and I were pretty much the same size in clothing so I am wearing a lot of her clothes. I don’t think you should give away her stuff until you are ready. I’m not going to.

      13
    • Ebby  December 15, 2021 at 7:03 am Reply

      I feel your pains, I lost my mum 3 days ago and I don’t think I can give out her stuff easily. I don’t know if this pain will ever go away.

      10
      • Moh  May 20, 2022 at 4:41 pm

        I lost my mom about three years ago and still cant connect to her and talk to her while i terribly missed her. Is anyone have idea how to feel more close to her ? I think i could only die to find her 🙁

        1
      • Litsa  June 1, 2022 at 11:04 am

        I am so sorry you are having such a hard time feeling connected with your mother. I am not sure what kind of closeness you are seeking, but often times people find it is helpful to go places you went together, listened to music she liked, prepare foods she liked, or even volunteer in some way in her memory doing something she loved. Please if you are ever thinking of hurting yourself, know that there is support and there are many other options. You can contact the national suicide prevention line at any time – they have a webchat or you can call them at 800-273-8255. You can also always call 911 or walk into your local emergency room.

        2
    • marshapreszcator4@hotmail.com  December 15, 2021 at 4:16 pm Reply

      I think you should keep your Moms things as long as you want. Don’t get rid of things because someone else says you should.

      9
    • Joseph B  January 15, 2022 at 5:30 pm Reply

      I feel your pain @l also lost my mother in 2016 but my pain is still fresh ,l miss her so so much ,today l found my self consulting google on how to make dead people happy

      6
    • Carolyn  March 22, 2022 at 9:16 am Reply

      My dad passed away in January. I am having a hard time acknowledging his death. I keep looking for signs but they are not coming. It’s so uncomfortable seeing my mom brother and sister be able to express their grief and I can not. I feel lost in my sorrow.

      5
  21. Kashish Khurana  September 13, 2021 at 10:09 pm Reply

    I don’t know how to start, its for the first time I am writing something like this. The pain is so fresh and can’t get off the date which changed and shattered everything around me. 30th August it was and I lost him. We were together for 3 years and were planning to take it to the next level. I still feel so numb and have not been able to come to terms with it yet. It feels a part of me is missing and with each passing day, it gets deeper and stronger. He left me midway and now the vision is all vague. I am so broken from inside and have no idea except to question him/ the almighty, that why did you this?

    14
  22. Sourabh  July 27, 2021 at 7:41 am Reply

    10 days is been passed since I lost my girlfriend soon to be getting married in coming 6 months . The pain she went through the fight she fought till the last breadth . She took a vaccine and was then her lungs started infecting and within a month she died of it. She was my only happiness I working every single day working hard so that we can take permission from our family to get married . But everything was crashed every dreams is shattered . It was our dream to be with each other for the rest of our lives . Growing old together we were just trust blindly with each other the love and affection we have within us was unimaginable it’s was like we were made for each other . 3 years into relationship nd we were like a perfect match we both were looking . We were just so involved and madly in love and made every moment a wonderful experience in these 3 years and the first thing what happens which has shocked me was her soul presence after she died which left me in splits which is when I confirmed nd was shocked that she is no more with me .I am in so much of guilt that maybe I could have took some actions instead of her family and took a better hospital instead of the hospital who can not even heal the mild cases of any patients and death rate is very high this is y I am in total regret that I could have saved her.she was just 26 years of her age nd every thing has gone and my life is worthless without her . Waiting for the day I could die and rejoin with her soul and give her all the happiness she deserves .

    20
    • Isabelle Siegel  July 27, 2021 at 12:27 pm Reply

      Sourabh, I am so very sorry for your loss. I hear that you feel a sense of responsibility for your girlfriend’s death. I highly recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/guilt-and-grief-2/ While I can’t tell you not to feel guilty, I do hope that you will learn to forgive yourself.

      Please also know that there is nothing wrong with needing some extra support while you grieve this loss. Perhaps try looking for a counselor trained in grief and bereavement, which you can find here: https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu/for-the-public/find-a-therapist/ If you are thinking of hurting yourself—or even if you just need someone to talk with—please call the National Suicide Helpline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website where you can do a live online chat https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ All the best to you.

      4
  23. Hope  July 25, 2021 at 5:18 am Reply

    Today I lost someone who was my former colleague, my friend and my crush on those days. He said he also had feelings for me but couldn’t be with me because he wasn’t well and one day I will thank him for it. 9 years passed and today I learned that he passed away of heart failure in the morning. I can’t process this as I couldn’t say goodbye to him and I never lost anyone ever before today. I am clueless because no one knows about how I felt about him except him.

    4
  24. Penny  June 1, 2021 at 10:14 pm Reply

    I was with my guy for exactly four years when he was murdered on our four year anniversary by his ex-wife. Unfortunately he didn’t treat me the best and even after four years his family knew nothing about me so when he was killed they didn’t know to inform me. I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard from him for over three weeks. Finally one night (idk why but) I decided to look his name up online (normally nothing came up under his name) and the first thing I see is an obituary. Had to look up news reports to find out what happened to him. His family had already had his celebration of life so I didn’t get to say goodbye to him. I called the funeral home to find out where he was buried so I could go say goodbye to him and found out he was cremated so I don’t even have that. I found a couple family members on facebook and reached out to them and explained who I am and how I knew him and whatever. All I got was a few pictures and “you must’ve meant something to him or he wouldn’t have stayed with you for four years” but then they don’t want to talk to me anymore because they’re “having a hard time processing this”. Like I’m not? I’ve got no one to share my grief with, no one to talk to about him and no personal momentos because he never left anything behind. He did give me two cards once thanking me for everything I do for him but didn’t even bother to sign them. Two years into our relationship (March 2019) he married another woman (the one that killed him), she filed for divorce three months later (June2019) but I found out after she killed him that he may have a baby by her that is less than a year old which means he was still sleeping with her long after they divorced. So now I have to not only try to get through the grief but also how do I get past all his lies and deceptions?

    5
    • Rose  August 13, 2021 at 12:50 pm Reply

      My heart goes out for you Penny. I wish you knew who had the ashes and would ask to be alone to tell him all about your conflicting feelings just as you would if he were alive. Give yourself a closure on a relationship that was better for you to end. Something bad happened, but it was used by God to show you how things really were, and you KNOWWW that you deserve more.

      A much better life might be awaiting you.

      3
  25. Sarah  May 11, 2021 at 9:32 am Reply

    We all feel so alone in our heart wrenching sorrow, yet here we all are, going through some of our most hardest moments ever, together.
    I stumbled upon this page while trying to find help for an oncoming panic attack. Reading some of the articles & comments here reminded me of what gives me a small burst of strength when I need it most – i hope it does the same for whoever reads this… I think about the overall feeling of pure unconditional love & the absolute happiness & joy that Rosie brought into my life & ask myself, was is worth it? Was she worth going through this agonising pain of losing her? The question itself is the answer. OF COURSE SHE WAS!! None of us would be here if whoever u are grieving wasnt worth what we’re all going through right now. Everything my Rosie is, was, & brought into my life was worth this suffering & more!! Realising this doesnt make it hurt any less, but it makes me feel happy at the same time. It also makes me realise that i do want this pain, because it just means Rosie was so important, so loved & cared for. Its just like the saying; “how lucky we are to of had someone in our lives who can make it so hard & painful to have to say goodbye”. And remember, its not goodbye forever, its only goodbye for now. Sharing with each & everyone of you my strength & love xo

    15
  26. Traci  April 20, 2021 at 12:09 pm Reply

    Hi, I lost my son 7 months ago. My daughter found out she was pregnant a month later with a little boy. I am making my grandson a toy box but I am going to have it be from his late uncle. I need a quote or a saying to put inside the lid of the toy box having it be from my late son. Was wondering if you could help me. Tia

    8
    • Amanda  November 19, 2021 at 10:59 pm Reply

      Jermiah 29:11 look it up

  27. Shanna chap  April 4, 2021 at 8:24 am Reply

    I am a mother of two boys ages 17 and 13. We just lost their father in March 11, 2021. I feel more lost than they do. Trying to remain strong. It’s hard. I thought loosing my grandparents were tough but it’s nothing quite like loosing ur partner and someone you have been with over half my life. I’m only 36 he just turned 43 April 2. My kids haven’t seen their father since day before Christmas. He was rushed to hospital Christmas Day tested positive for COVID and suffered a stroke. Multiples. I just want him to know we didn’t abandon him. We weren’t allowed in the hospital to see him at all. I know it gets easier so to speak but right now it doesn’t seem like it. My kids hearts are breaking and it’s shattering mine to see them like this. Any ideas on how I can get some help? Does that sound silly

    16
    • Cristina Clawson  April 5, 2021 at 10:09 pm Reply

      Shanna I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you are feeling. I lost the Love of my Life ❤ my hubby suddenly on 1/26/2021 my heart feels like it’s been ripped out !💔have you ever considered joining a greifshare class online or in person after Covid disappears ? my Sister in law suggested it . I was apprehensive at first and very timid of talking in front of people online on Zoom when I was I was first going through greif .it has really heIped me and you receive such support from other people in the class. greifshare classes are nation wide.

      1
      • Monaliza  July 7, 2021 at 11:28 pm

        I’m so sorry about your loss 🙏😢 I can’t imagine myself without my love… but I do have my( widow )she lost my favorite cousin tragically so I have been in the process of seeing her broke down the way she has. Brakes my heart we couldn’t attend to the burial no funeral.so hard no goodbye 💔 what I can tell u is be strong your sadness started this year fresh ours 1 year ago.feels like today we got the news sick to my stomach. I am broken loosing my first baby cousin. . I see his sisters detaireating see them with no life.but worst my aunt she turned bitter sweet and is mean.no matter what love u offer she is mean.hurts to see two family torn apart.. the widow is on repeat with his videos . I’m broken I’m the same way . Can’t let gooo..😥😪😭 she gifted me some of his belongings which I keep sacred 🙏 wish I can hug you . Let your earth,sky,soul,Angel’s guide u through your new journey. Most important the lord 😍

        1
    • Theresa Sandram  April 18, 2021 at 10:21 am Reply

      I know the pain, I just lost my husband on 07/03/2021. He left me with a baby who is 8 months old now, I don’t know how to deal with the pain, am only 27 years old he was supposed to be 32 tomorrow on 19/04. But God is wonderful, he gat his own reasons and one day we will get better.

      2
    • Maria  May 18, 2021 at 11:00 am Reply

      Shannon
      I would like to tell you that I’m so sorry for your loss,I also lost my fatherinlaw this past February
      He actually past on my birthday do to Covid
      I don’t have words to tell you ,but I can say my kids are feeling the loss of there Grandpa also. My mother-in-law it’s been really hard for her as well.
      I do feel it helps her though by keeping his memory alive , she talks about him all the time and she tells us she talks to him all the time. I think it’s healthy to do that. I wish I could heal everyone’s pain of losing a loved one ♥️But remember 2 important things
      Firstly you are not alone in this
      Secondly our lives one day will reunite with our loved ones♥️Courage and most of all do not lose your faith
      And talk to God ,I believe he answers prayers♥️

      3
  28. Peace Monica  March 8, 2021 at 1:41 am Reply

    I lost my mom who was very sick 1/11/2021 each and every day I still cry on her dismissed, have tried to not too, buh I can’t help it… She was a close friend, and she died in my arms holding my hands, which I can never get off of my head!

    7
    • Anne  November 4, 2021 at 7:14 pm Reply

      I lost the father of my kids on 9/19/2021 due to COVID. I feel so much emptiness inside. I cry every now and then. I miss him so much. I dont know how can i get past this. 😭😭😭

      2
      • Cj  October 6, 2022 at 11:21 pm

        Playing their favorite music, watching or remembering the shows they like to watch. Realizing how much of them live in me and being honest about the relationship as I speak of them. It’s ok to laugh about the funny things too, we miss them but it’s ok to smile.

        Thank you for this article.

        2
  29. Lorraine  March 6, 2021 at 8:01 pm Reply

    I lost the love of my life 1=20=21 so suddenly he was here then gone at the blink of an eye no goodbye no last kiss or hugs just was here holding me making me laugh and forget about the outside world now I’m left totally heartbroken all of my so called friends think I should get back to life as normal as if I never cared or love this man so deeply I have my family but they have their own lives and I feel so alone I pray to God to please give me strength I’m just lost

    16
    • Howard  March 22, 2021 at 11:06 am Reply

      I know exactly what you are feeling. As you can see below, I lost my wife 7 days later. No one can truly know what we are going through…Except us. Family has gone back to their normal lives, as you said. Honestly, I do not think we will ever be normal again. We just need to find a way to go on somehow. Easier said than done, that is for sure. Good luck to you and God Bless!!

      6
    • Kelly  April 5, 2021 at 1:44 am Reply

      Im very Sorry for your loss. Although those words really don’t mean anything when you lose the love of your life. I deeply understand your pain, I lost my best friend, partner fiance of 11 years on March 9 2021 to gun violence. I still don’t believe he’s gone. People expect for you to go on as normal. But it’s not easy at all. The pain is so hurtful there is just no words to explain it. I pray God gives you the strength and healing to get through this!

      6
    • Jackie  April 14, 2021 at 2:09 am Reply

      Lorraine,

      I too lost the love of my life.
      February 7,2021 he was fine all day he was excited about watching the super bowl. Minutes before kickoff he said he wasn’t feeling well, he said he had indigestion, he asked for a tums & a coke. I asked him if he was sure he was ok and he said he felt a little better after burping. My daughter a nurse checked his blood pressure it was good. He got up to use the bathroom, he looked as if he may get sick. A few minutes later I knocked on the bathroom door no answer. I opened the door and found him unresponsive. We immediately started CPR, once the EMT’s arrived they tried shocking him…nothing he was gone…no history of heart issues no family history. He took no medication’s. It makes no sense & feels so unfair. He was the kindest man who would help anyone. I know how you are feeling, our lives will never be the same again. We will really never be ok. People don’t understand they expect us to move on, when I am asked how I am doing I just lie and say good. It’s just easier that way. Please realize it’s ok not to be ok. I still find myself feeling like…did this really happen. I wish I could have changed the outcome, somehow, some way. I was told by the doctor at the hospital that even if we had called a ambulance the minute he said he didn’t feel well the outcome would have been the same. He suffered a major heart attack. So now my heart is torn open too. I am sorry you are going through the same heartache. If I could be of any help, just know you are not alone & what your feeling is normal. You take however many years you need. Sorry for your loss.

      7
      • Sylvia  May 1, 2021 at 5:15 pm

        Jackie,

        I am so sorry for your loss. This is the most painful experience I’ve ever had to go through. I am only 25 years old but I lost my dad on 4/6/2021. He also had told my mom that his stomach wasn’t feeling well and she told him that he should try using the restroom to see if he would feel better. A few moments after being in the restroom, my mom heard him collapse and immediately called 9-11. The doctor said he passed immediately and there wasn’t anything that they could do. My dad passed from an aortic dissection. He took his blood pressure regularly and always had regular blood pressure and was healthy. It’s so unexpected which makes it that much harder for loved ones because we weren’t able to prepare for his passing. Some days, my family and I are okay and then other days, I break out crying (usually when it’s listening to the videos he would record or the pictures he would send our family). It’s been extremely hard on my mom so I can’t even imagine your loss. Praying for you and your family.

        4
      • Rose A  May 18, 2021 at 1:00 am

        I lost my Fiance to addiction after being clean for 4 years. Coming from a non addiction family I didnt really understand how hard it is to beat. She was doing fine and we were doing good, money, our kids and house. Her friend she met from locked up together when she was younger came up from Florida and while I was at work they must have relapsed. I didn’t know it could happen so fast. Just one time and she overdosed and left me and our combined 4 kids at the age of 26. I tried to cut her past friends out during my 3 years with her and was always met with a fight but she would listen. I didnt even know about this friend till it was too late. It’s a constant struggle and now im learning more and more about addiction and please anyone if you are tempted please just reach out to someone first. There’s alot of ppl including me that will listen.

        4
    • Robert  March 16, 2022 at 6:11 am Reply

      On October 24, 2021 we lost our 31 yr old son to brain cancer. It has torn our very souls out thinking how much life he’s missed out on.
      This is so hard to write about, night time is the worst, when your left alone with your grief.
      We had 4 years from his diagnosis till he passed away
      We are stuck in the would have, should have, could have delima.
      I think we both feel the cancer treatments robbed us of time we could have spent making some good, final memories.

      2
    • Elaine Glynn  May 31, 2022 at 6:20 pm Reply

      Not sure if this comment section is finished now but I stumbled across it while googling and felt more at ease reading all your comments about your loved ones. I lost my incredibly wonderful husband who was strong, compassionate and my biggest supporter and the most loving, unbelievably proud and honest father to our children. He passed away so suddenly and unexpected on the 19th of January this year. He had a massive heart attack and collapsed on our bedroom floor in front of me and the children. It still feels like it’s all just some horrific nightmare that I’ll wake up to one morning and he’ll be sleeping peacefully beside me

      2
  30. Alison Meredith  February 20, 2021 at 2:31 pm Reply

    My dad died on 17 February 2021 so very recently and I talk to him like he’s still here. I said you are back with your mum who died when he was only 3 years old. I have bought a photo frame and I have put his cap, glasses and my last card to him that says dad. I keep having a cry but not experienced the real sobbing like I thought I would be like.

    7
    • Sujata Mukherjee  March 6, 2021 at 12:45 pm Reply

      I lost my husband on 28th January 2021. We got married in 1977. He lived in England for 53 years and myself for 43 years. We decided to come back to India for good and enjoy our lives with family and just relax but nothing happened according to plan. I lost my younger sister in December 2019. I miss both of them badly.
      As we never had children, it was always myself and my husband. He was very kind and a real gentleman. He was loved by everybody. Now I don’t have anybody to share anything or ask for opinion or advice. I wish I never came back to India but everybody says he was destined to breath his last in his motherland .I shall go back to London to sort out few things. I don’t know how I can make that long journey without him. He always had the same meal as me as he couldn’t decide what to have. One of his colleagues signed his birthday card saying ‘a man as good as gold’. My ĺife without him has become meaningless and there is nothing to look forward to.
      Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

      .

      12
      • Jill  April 8, 2021 at 8:30 pm

        I lost my husband Feb 21,2021. I have started keeping a journal & it has helped. I can scream out my pain, I can tell him how much I love him & miss him. It helps me. We have grandchildren that are having great difficulty with loosing their Papa. I encourage them to talk about their feelings. It helps them. They still draw him pictures. I have explained to them that I can’t cry all the time about Papa. I have to celebrate him too!!! So very important to always also remember we were blessed to have had him too.

        2
  31. Howard  February 14, 2021 at 8:38 pm Reply

    I lost my wife Dawn on 1/27/21 to Stage 4 lung cancer, she was 49. We were married 28 years and have 2 children. She never smoked. I am devastated. They said she would survive 5 years, then that changed to 18 months…which eventually came down to just 13. Just cant get my head right. Worst is waking up and that split second where you think maybe you were dreaming…until you look next to you.

    13
    • Isabelle Siegel  February 17, 2021 at 12:28 pm Reply

      Howard, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your comment brought tears to my eyes… Your love for your wife is so apparent and special. Do you have a good support system/people to talk to about your loss? Perhaps you should seek out the support of a therapist trained in grief and bereavement, which you can find here: https://grief.com/grief-counselor-directory/. All the best to you and your family.

      1
    • Jill  April 8, 2021 at 8:34 pm Reply

      A grieving son told me: Forget spending all that money on space travel! CURE CANCER!!!!!

      2
  32. Bee  February 7, 2021 at 7:58 pm Reply

    I lost my first and ex two days ago and I do not know where to start my grieving from. I cannot cry, I laugh, and I have flashbacks and imagine him having conversations with me all over again. I read an old text and the only text I have from him and I all I can think of is someone pranking me. I feel like I need closure, I need him to speak to me somehow because this is unreal. T tried to stay in touch several times, but he was too unstable. I sensed something terrible was going to happen and it did.

    (pardon my errors)

    2
    • Isabelle Siegel  February 9, 2021 at 9:26 am Reply

      Bee, I’m so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are in shock about his death, which is completely normal. Let yourself feel whatever it is that you need to feel. No matter what, know that you are not alone. All the best to you.

      1
      • Lora Johnson  April 26, 2023 at 1:52 am

        My son, Jaeden Harley Johnson, moved to the spirit world at age 18, just 3 years ago today. Suicide was his mode of transportation….far far more balls than I’ve ever had.
        Since he moved I’ve continually researched all I can about communicating with him. I educate myself daily, for hours sometimes, about devine interception, OBE’s, NDE’s, & about the afterlife.
        Lately I sleep with his baby blanket (his nigh-nigh.) The hair from his first trip to the barber shop sits close by on my night stand.
        Im thankful & ultimately grateful to the other moms who’ve shared their stories without fear of ridicule. They’ve brought me hope & have opened my eyes & my consciousness to all the ‘signs.’ Ive learned about key factors necessary to increase my sense of his presence. It’s exciting!
        Its because of these moms, coupled with phycological research, that I know without a doubt that Jaeden walks beside me every day.

        Until we meet again, Be Still & Know. -Love, Mom.

    • Kelly  April 5, 2021 at 1:52 am Reply

      Praying God brings you peace and comfort
      I know and feel your pain I lost my fiance of 11 yrs on March 9 21. I can’t believe he’s gone

      1
  33. Sherry Amagliani  January 30, 2021 at 2:19 am Reply

    I lost my husband Chris on December 20, 2020. We were married almost 33 years and my heart is broken. I don’t understand how people can survive this pain that I feel every minute of the day. Being sad takes so much energy. I miss my beautiful boy.

    2
    • Isabelle Siegel  January 31, 2021 at 11:10 am Reply

      Sherry, I’m so sorry for your loss and for the pain you’re being forced to endure. I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but there is a way to survive in the face of this loss. You will find a way to navigate the pain, even if it is always a part of you. I recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-recovery-is-not-a-thing/ If you are thinking of hurting yourself, or even if you just need someone to talk with, please call the National Suicide Helpline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website where you can do a live online chat https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ All the best to you.

      1
    • Bec  February 5, 2021 at 1:26 am Reply

      Hi Sherry
      I lost my first husband to cancer 10 years ago. We had been together since we were 16 years old and he was diagnosed at the age of 39. 10 weeks later I said goodbye to him.
      There is no right or wrong way to deal with the loss of someone you love. Someone once told me that when I accept he is dead I can move forward. He existed, he was a huge part of my world, he is the father of my 3 beautiful children.
      Where is was 10 years ago to where I am now I would never have believed if someone had today me. I live each day for myself and him. Don’t feel ashamed to speak his name because it makes others uncomfortable. Say it loud.

      4
      • Isabelle Siegel  February 9, 2021 at 10:17 am

        Bec, I am truly so sorry for your loss. You’re absolutely right: There is “right” or “wrong” way to deal with the loss of someone you love. Thank you for sharing your story and your perspective… I hope it inspires others.

        1
  34. Carl  January 27, 2021 at 4:54 am Reply

    My wife of 32 years passed last year. I miss her so much.I pray we will be back together when that time comes.

    2
    • Isabelle Siegel  January 27, 2021 at 1:40 pm Reply

      Carl, I’m truly so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you found this website and hope that it shows you that, no matter what, you’re not alone.

      1
    • James R gibbs jr  February 6, 2021 at 11:56 pm Reply

      I to lost my wife just 3 weeks ago we were so much in love we had 3 kids and her life was taken from us we’d been together for almost 33 years this October this year we were inseparable she was the best friend to anybody can ever have she passed away 1-14-21 I know we will see each other again plus she haven’t left yet I caught her on a video every night I know it is because she wasn’t ready to leave yet love her so much 💗 see you someday

      2
      • Isabelle Siegel  February 9, 2021 at 9:51 am

        James, I am so so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and your wife had such a special love, one that will persist even now that she has passed. I am glad that you are taking steps to continue your bond with her!

        1
  35. Lois  January 23, 2021 at 1:45 pm Reply

    I lost my mama Jan 4th/2021
    We were very close and still are
    Im grieving..crying..hurting..
    I dont know how to go on without her

    1
    • Isabelle Siegel  January 25, 2021 at 10:06 am Reply

      Lois, I’m truly so sorry for your loss. I hope this website/community shows you that, no matter what, you are NOT alone. It’s completely normal to be hurting… But you will get through this. Perhaps you should reach out to a therapist trained in grief and bereavement, which you can find here: https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu/for-the-public/find-a-therapist/. If you are thinking of hurting yourself, or even if you just need someone to talk with, please call the National Suicide Helpline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website where you can do a live online chat https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ All the best to you.

      1
  36. Cheryl Streiff  January 23, 2021 at 3:11 am Reply

    I have lost a baby (almost full-term), my grandparents, my parents, all my uncles & aunts, a cousin, and several close friends, so I am no stranger to loss. I am in an intimate, but long-distance relationship with a man I fell in love with in grad school, but couldn’t marry at the time. We reconnected 4 yrs ago after 40 years of no-contact. I was recently divorced at that point. He’s a 72 year old widower with 2 grown sons (26 & 33). Sadly, they don’t want to meet me or know anything about me, but are currently living with him.
    What do you see as the role–if any–of the “new partner” in this process of “continuing bonds” with a deceased spouse? Although he will not discuss his marriage with his late wife (because he feels it’s irrelevant), he does bring her up occasionally. This feels quite natural to me even though she’s been gone for 14 years now. They were married 28 years. I am very respectful of her memory (as any normal person should be of a woman who died at 52 when her youngest son was 12). I’ve tried hard to empathize with his grief, and understand how it’s impacted him–which is why I receive this newsletter.
    How do people find a way to balance their feelings of grief and loss within the context of developing a new relationship with a different person? Reading all these suggestions of how to stay connected with a dead loved one seem possibly to have the potential—in a way—–to either preclude a new connection with a 2nd partner or maybe they may emphasize how much the new person is excluded from the previous relationship….and thereby perhaps deny them any part in the healing process.
    I don’t mean to imply that I think that “my widower” is stuck in his grieving journey—I think he has been fairly healthy in the way he has dealt with this terrible loss. He sought both family and individual therapy at the time, and then more later for himself and his kids over time whenever he’d felt the necessity (he’s a clinical psychologist by training).
    I am trying to understand how I can help—or at least, not hinder—this man whom I love so much. I suspect, however, that he is ambivalent in how far to move forward (and how much to hold back) in our relationship due to his fear (perhaps unconscious) of the potential for another loss.
    It feels important for me to make an ally of his late wife—to learn how to love her even—and also, to overcome my envy of her marriage to him. After all, she, too, was a woman who loved him.
    Thank you for any insight you can give me.
    Yours in sympathy & good will, Cheryl

    1
    • Isabelle Siegel  January 25, 2021 at 10:17 am Reply

      Hi, Cheryl. First off, I’m so sorry for the multiple losses you’ve been forced to endure. The questions you are asking about dating a widower are ones we commonly receive… Take comfort in the fact that your concerns are normal and okay. I highly recommend you check out these articles: https://whatsyourgrief.com/dating-a-widow-or-widower-faqs/ and https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-advice-photos/ I’m glad you can accept that you must make an ally of his late wife. You’re right: You are both women who love/loved him. It sounds as though you are taking the necessary steps to understand what he is going through. All the best to you.

  37. Marjie  January 17, 2021 at 3:50 pm Reply

    I lost my husband of 54 years on December 6 2020. I’m not coping well.

    • Isabelle Siegel  January 18, 2021 at 9:46 am Reply

      Marjie, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain you’re going through. It’s completely okay not to be coping “well”… You have a right to feel whatever you’re feeling. There is no such thing as good nor bad emotions. I recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/what-does-grief-feel-like/ Perhaps you would find even an ounce of comfort in the support of a therapist/counselor trained in grief and bereavement, which you can find here: https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu/for-the-public/find-a-therapist/. Please know that, no matter what, you are NOT alone. All the best to you.

      • Sky Johnson  January 23, 2021 at 2:04 am

        I lost my mom on Dec 21, 2020 to Covid-19 and pneumonia. She was my bestfriend and I was her Caregiver and life now seems like a bad dream.

        1
      • Isabelle Siegel  January 25, 2021 at 10:19 am

        Sky, I’m so sorry for your loss and for the pain you are enduring… My heart goes out to you. I hope this website/community shows you that, no matter what, you’re not alone. You will find a way to get through this. You may want to check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-recovery-is-not-a-thing/ All the best to you.

  38. Jacqueline  January 16, 2021 at 10:57 pm Reply

    First let me say site has help me tremendously. Thank everyone for sharing. I feel comfort in knowing i’m not along in grieving process.
    My husband transitioned over 2 months ago. We had an amazing life together. We were as one. Now, I exist to keep things afloat from day to day. I don’t feel as though I’m living because I don’t know how to live w/out him. I cry almost every day. Nights are the worst time of my day.
    I will try to incorporate some of the ideas shared in the article.
    Be Blessed Everyone!

    6
    • Isabelle Siegel  January 18, 2021 at 9:56 am Reply

      Jacqueline, I’m so glad to hear that this website/community has been of some help to you. You’re right: You are NOT alone in your grief. All the best to you.

    • Julie  January 30, 2021 at 8:04 pm Reply

      I feel the same way. I lost my husband on the 8th of January 2021, I feel like this is a nightmare that I will soon wake up from. I’m lost without him, he is my everything. I hate shopping because he was the one always doing it it or we did it together. I really feel it’s my fault his gone, I keep reliving that moment. My husband wanted to come upstairs to sleep said was too hot, we walked upstairs entered the bedroom as I switched the light on he fell onto the bed backwards and was gone., that moment my world was turned upside down. I can’t live without him, food is like poison for me. How do I go on.

      3
      • Isabelle Siegel  January 31, 2021 at 10:52 am

        Julie, I’m truly so sorry for your loss and for the pain you are feeling. I hear that you feel responsible for your husband’s death… This is so normal
        (albeit not reflective of the reality!). I recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/guilt-and-grief-2/ I know you feel like you can’t live without him, but you will find a way to go on. Perhaps you should reach out to a therapist trained in grief and bereavement, which you can find here: https://grief.com/grief-counselor-directory/. I hope you know that, no matter what, you are not alone. The What’s Your Grief community is here to show you that. All the best to you.

        2
  39. Antonia Ryan  January 4, 2021 at 1:51 pm Reply

    Thank you so much for this article. It gives me so much comfort. Advice about going through a grieving process and moving on has never sat easy with me. I have lost two family members in the past few months due to covid. It seems so much more natural, respectful and comforting to continue to incorporate them in my life in the ways you suggest. Thank you.

    1
  40. Alexa  January 3, 2021 at 5:17 pm Reply

    Hello my name is Alexa,

    I lost my abuelita about 2 months ago to pancreatic cancer. She was always in and out of the hospital. The doctors told her last year that she only had 2 weeks to live, and she survived way past that.

    She gave us exactly one more year. Due to the pandemic i wasn’t able to see her very much, however, in October of 2020 when her body finally could not keep up with the cancer, I saw her again after a few months of being quarantined.

    I have way more memories with her, so many beautiful ones of her talking, laughing and hugging me. But for some reason I can now only remember the sad moments of her leaving this world. I remember her telling me she saw angles exercising outside, and then her going into coma, then finally the last time I saw her the night before she died, sleeping.

    Just a few days ago I was painting and drinking some wine, then I went over to hug my boyfriend. When i did, it wasn’t him. I felt my abuelita’s hair and her skin. When he rubbed my back, i felt her hands. It was her! And I felt her, I was so overwhelmed, tears literally started pouring out of me. It was her, and I miss her, and I’m so glad she came to visit me. Rest in peace my beautiful angel. 10/21/20 Olivia Candida Ott-Antunez

    4
    • IsabelleS  January 4, 2021 at 1:04 pm Reply

      Alexa, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m so glad you’re finding ways to stay connected with your abuelita even after she has passed. All the best to you.

      1
  41. Jessica  January 2, 2021 at 6:43 am Reply

    I lost my dad December 18, 2020 at 9:46pm . It has been one of the hardest things to cope with in my life . He wasn’t only my dad but he was my best friend

    1
    • IsabelleS  January 4, 2021 at 1:19 pm Reply

      I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words.

      1
    • Christina  January 17, 2021 at 7:32 am Reply

      Jessica,

      I lost my father on December 19th, 2019. He wasn’t just my father, my Daddy, he was my best friend too. I saw your comment and I became teary eyed… I cry every morning for my father. I’m currently very ill physically and I keep sobbing needing his hugs to get me through this pain. Life is so hard without him… he was my protector, my hero. I hope you’re ok, Jessica…….

      Christina

      1
      • Isabelle Siegel  January 18, 2021 at 9:50 am

        Christina, I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. The pain you’re experiencing is normal and valid. I recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/physical-grief-symptoms/ All the best to you.

  42. Marney  November 25, 2020 at 1:36 am Reply

    I lost my Dad last week..whom I shared the most amazing bond with..
    He is a native man. very spiritual as I..and serious in big game hunting which I am not..but my son and I truly love deer..to look at photograph etc..the last week s huge herd of deer had showed up nightly..on the front deck of our house..with the biggest buck behind them that I have ever seen..it’s so odd as I live in the middle of a city..it’s beautiful and is feeling like it is my Dad sending them..

    5
    • IsabelleS  November 25, 2020 at 11:12 am Reply

      Marney, I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful way to continue your bond with your father! The fact that you live in the middle of a city truly makes this extraordinary and special.

      4
    • Matie Ramirez  November 29, 2020 at 9:15 am Reply

      I lost my husbsnd August 5th but actually a week p r ior. He died of heart attack due yo drugs, stress, alchol. I watched him gor a week while what th r y call comfort care.. I miss him so much because we got each other even though we had alot of domestic issues. My grief is so deep. I feel so alone now.

      3
      • IsabelleS  November 30, 2020 at 11:05 am

        Marie, I’m so very sorry for your loss and for the pain you are being made to endure. I want you to know that, no matter how you feel, you are NOT alone in your grief. What you are experiencing is normal and okay. Perhaps you should seek out the support of a therapist trained in grief, which you can find here: https://grief.com/grief-counselor-directory/ All the best to you.

      • Chynel M Wilson-mckoy  December 27, 2020 at 11:34 pm

        Hello Matie o hope u find comfort i lost my husband on the day u posted this and ik your pain im so lonely even with everyone around me i miss him so much we have never gone days with out contact so not seeing or hearing him is tearing me down im a complete mess and i don’t cate what anyone says ill never get over this feeling

        2
      • IsabelleS  December 28, 2020 at 11:29 am

        Chynel, I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I could do something to take away even an ounce of your pain. I completely understand feeling as though you’ll never get over this. You’re right… We don’t ever “get over” grief and that’s okay. These articles may be of some help to you: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-recovery-is-not-a-thing/ and https://whatsyourgrief.com/64-things-about-grief/ I hope the What’s Your Grief community brings you some comfort during this time. All the best.

        1
    • Diane M Davidson  January 24, 2021 at 1:14 am Reply

      I know how you all feel. So I lost my dad to suicide over 30 years ago. He lets me know that he’s with me when I’m driving at night and he will turn on and off the street lights. I say hey daddy I love you and miss you so much. The other night as I was driving he had a street light dim. I said daddy make it bright. He did. Recently November 5th I lost my husband to cancer and kidney failure and stage 4 COPD. He’s been making his presence known. In our bedroom he will appear. But in spare bedroom he throws things off the dresser. My son is in there and he hated him and his gf. But I talk out loud to him. The other night I felt him laying down with me when I went to bed. I love him and miss him dearly. But I find great comfort knowing he’s here now.

      • Isabelle Siegel  January 25, 2021 at 9:59 am

        Diane, I’m so sorry for the multiple losses you’ve been forced to endure. I recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/cumulative-grief-aka-grief-overload/ It’s so special that both your father and your husband continue to communicate with you even after they have passed. I’m glad you can take comfort in knowing they are with you. All the best to you.

        0
  43. Vicky  November 16, 2020 at 7:47 pm Reply

    My lovely, kind, loving mother died of the ‘c’ word 3 yrs ago. I still miss her like mad. A few months after her death, i went to her house to sort through some of her things. I found it so emotional being there without her. I went back to my place. Felt very low the next day. I was lying in bed, pillows over my head, earplugs, curtains drawn. Suddenly i heard a lovely little bird on my window ledge. It was so loud i thought it was in my room. I opened the curtains. It was beautiful, chirping away. It looked right up at me. I spoke gently to it. It looked like it was going to hop inside. But it took one look at me. Then flew off. I’ve lived in my flat over 15yrs. There’s wire all round the window ledge. So very hard for birds to sit there. That’s NEVER happened before, or since. I just know it was my lovely mother telling me she’s ok. SHE’S FREE!!!!

    3
  44. guy lavoie  October 14, 2020 at 8:10 pm Reply

    my name is guy lavoie and i know grief in 1977 i lost my daughter in 1979 i lost my first wife car accident married again 1984 too elaine joyce lavoie found her son hanging from rafters 3 yrs ago found my best friend dead in his apt then i lost my dog and then my wife passed away beside me this jan after 3.5 yrs of caregiving had too take her too bed and back by wheel chair had too have porta poty family dr made home visits for 3.5 yrs i have nothing left as i sit alone ive tryd too reach out too clergy widow groups and the minute i tell my story they seam too leave i dont know where this is goeing but it felt good too wright it

    7
    • Loretta Armstrong  November 10, 2020 at 1:09 am Reply

      A billion hugs to you. I also lost my husband of 9 yrs on oct 2nd 2020. I have known him since 2003 but we got married in 2011. We have 3 children 14,4 and 2. He was 36 yrs old. His death was sudden, I’m still awaiting autopsy report. I have no idea what to feel or how to feel but I believe time will make the pain less hurtful. Please stay strong, music helps me alot, please try it if you haven’t already. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

      3
      • Jo  December 4, 2020 at 6:18 pm

        I lost my partner on October 8th this year he was 37. I have never felt pain like it. Hope you are coping OK. Xx

        1
      • Shelly  December 9, 2020 at 9:36 pm

        I also lost my partner, my Fiancé, on Nov. 5th who was 37. This is by far the hardest struggle I’ve ever been through. We had a lot of plans for the future. I was crazy in love with him and he with me. He sends me messages all the time to comfort me and let me know he’s somewhere out there. It seems I’m not alone in my grief ❤️

        2
      • IsabelleS  December 11, 2020 at 10:13 am

        Shelly, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad to hear that you continue to feel connected with your fiancé through the messages he sends. You are definitely not alone in your grief. All the best to you!

      • Shaan lal  January 4, 2021 at 12:44 am

        OMG, when I read this I got chills, I lost my wife of 15 years on the same date oct 2,2020, I’m still waiting for report as well and this was a sudden death, we have 3 kids as well. I’m just speechless. Wow thanks loretta I thought I was the only person in the world that was feeling this way

        2
    • Debra  March 18, 2021 at 9:49 am Reply

      My son transition June 8, 2020. My heart and soul is so heavy from the hurt and the pain sometimes it feels so unbearable. He was my only child. He sent me rainbows to let me know he was ok. I feel like I’m never going to be ok. I think about and cry for him mostly everyday.

  45. Karen Berry  October 12, 2020 at 9:55 am Reply

    My nephew passed away on July 22, 2020. Ruled a suspicious death. His mother & all of us are devastated beyond words. Yesterday I & one of my sisters were visited by a bird . It was very calm & just kept looked at both of us & looked at my nephews hunting gear we had hanging on the porch to dry after washing them. We really think that was my nephew. We just hope that he is in peace & that he knows we will look out for his Mom. He & his Mom were very close. We miss him so much.?❤️

    2
    • IsabelleS  October 12, 2020 at 10:52 am Reply

      Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are finding ways to continue your bond with your nephew through this bird that visited you. That sounds like a truly beautiful moment.

      • Funke  February 16, 2022 at 9:07 am

        My grief is,I have been cheated on by my ex husband regarding stealing my children from me.
        I want them back like yesterday, I want their unconditional & welcoming love. I remove any unfortunate things that will occur by these meetings.
        God has resolved to approve our being together again for promotion exercises & all manner of great happenings. No jailing, no problems, no wahala, no prosecution or ill health expected from these reunions.
        Thank you everyone in advance for these blessings & near future occurrences.

  46. Nancy ertter  September 26, 2020 at 8:34 pm Reply

    I lost David December 4, 2018. He was my husband, best friend and soul mate. I hurt daily over his loss. I ask him to come to me. I see a beautiful cardinal when I ask him to come. Spend hrs grieving over him. My guess is you never get over it you get used to living with it. We talked about him coming to see me before he passed. He said it f you can I will. I’ve never really had him visit me from heaven. But hope one day he will.

    5
    • IsabelleS  September 27, 2020 at 9:06 am Reply

      Hi Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss and for this pain you are experiencing. The feelings you are experiencing and the questions you are asking yourself are so normal during grief. Of course you never get over it, but it does get easier with time. I hope this website brings you some comfort and support.

    • Scott Henry  December 16, 2020 at 4:05 pm Reply

      I lost my mom in 2003. Her and I were very close, always. I was surprisingly strong and didn’t really grieve (my mother was the type to say don’t grieve for me, celebrate what you know of me) for years after. Until this 2019 to the present. The night after her funeral she came and visited me in a dream I knew it was a visit it was not just a dream of her. She asked me if I was okay if everybody else was okay I said yes we are we’ll get through it and that was the last time I had a visit from her and that again was in 2003. I’d love to hear her voice one more time feel her presence one more time I need that right now. I am a highly sensitive person or hsp, and I am an empath. I can feel spirits I can sense them I can hear them it’s it’s a very good gift. However I cannot and have not been able to sense both of my parents I lost my father in 2013. Asking the spirits where they are, several times on several different days on several different occasions they told me that both of them were in the light. my question then is and I don’t know if anyone would know this or where I would find this information out as I’ve already searched the internet and came up with nothing. Can spirits that have crossed over to the light come back down to earth and visit the relatives or when they go in the light are they there until the next time they are born? if somebody knows of a theory or has experienced this before or anything of that sort please let me know! Thanks

      2
      • IsabelleS  December 17, 2020 at 9:40 am

        Scott, I’m very sorry for the losses you have experienced. I, unfortunately, can’t answer your question about whether spirits can visit their loved ones after they’ve crossed over to the light. However, I do know that it’s incredibly common not to feel the presence/spirit of a loved one after they have passed. You may want to check out this post: https://whatsyourgrief.com/dont-feel-loved-ones-presence/ All the best to you.

        1
  47. William Miller  September 16, 2020 at 6:41 pm Reply

    I lost my wife of 22 years to a fire about a year ago. I grieve for her but there is a hangup to my grief that I may never resolve. A few years before her death, I caused her, in my stupidity, a great harm that she survived but that left deep scars, not the least of which was a lingering anger that she held for me I’m sure until the end. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get past that anger she had, which was justified and for which I feel a great guilt.

    4
    • Nancy ertter  September 26, 2020 at 8:42 pm Reply

      I’m sorry for your loss. Forgive yourself. I’ve had the pain of losing my husband in December 4, 2018. M in pain everyday cry only 2x per week now. So do not torture yourself over something n the past. Just live ur life as best you can and Be kind to yourself. I’m so sorry for your loss. Nancy

  48. Simran  September 6, 2020 at 8:31 am Reply

    I lost my mother on 19/08/2020. The void and the vacuum that it has created in my life is beyond words I was very close to her as I have no siblings I am trying to be strong for my father but I know I shattered I want to cry but I can’t cry I want to feel my mother again but I can’t please tell a way to connect with her please I want her around always.

    7
  49. Christopher Wall  July 27, 2020 at 5:18 pm Reply

    My beautiful healthy looking love received a Shocking cancer Diagnosis with a month to live prognosis. I will put her picture in a Lockett to wear around my neck so that she’s always with me…forever

    8
  50. jacky chapman  June 23, 2020 at 4:37 pm Reply

    I have worked for spirit for many years and recently my mother passed so I talked to her with the aid of a pendulum.
    After a few weeks of this I said to mum I would sit at my desk at the beginning of the next week and I wanted mum to give me something which I had to check online. On the day we were supposed to do this, mum did not wait for me to get to my desk – instead she came to me in Tesco’s car park and said ‘check and see how many children were evacuated from the UK to Canada in the 2nd World War (this was relevant because she herself was evacuated there). She said the number evacuated was 12,640. I went home and checked online at it was approx. 13,000 so that was good enough for me.

    2
  51. Frances Figurski  June 21, 2020 at 6:37 pm Reply

    My husband of 60 years started visiting me on the 1 year anniversary of his passing. He sits on the foot of the bed when I am dressing for bed and I can feel movement around my feet during the night, I talk to him and tell him I am glad he is here.

    7
    • Christine  September 12, 2020 at 9:38 pm Reply

      I’m sorry I lost my boyfriend on May 1st to a shooting I was with him for 15 years and I would love some feedback I just don’t no what to do from here I’m so lost without him. I hope I will be able to start experiencing that type so I can feel much better.

      3
  52. Susanna Tamm  June 20, 2020 at 2:20 pm Reply

    That really helped me. I lost my dad when I was two years old. Now it’s been more than 15 years and I have seen some kind of dark figure walking around my house quite a few times now. Then I wrote a letter and placed it on my desk, it’s been 2 weeks after and I haven’t seen any figures but I have seen my dad’s stuff appearing on my desk, even a photo where he had two weeks to live. Now I’m thinking I should write a book for only my dad.
    Thank you so much for your help! <3

    1
  53. Thomas Clarence  June 17, 2020 at 2:22 pm Reply

    I love how you talked about you can use letters to keep yourself connected with a loved one. I would say that writing to letters to people who you want to communicate a message to when you are worried about passing away would be a good thing to do. Even if it is on paper, communicating a message that you have never been able to would be a good thing to do.

    2
  54. Azzam  June 14, 2020 at 7:21 am Reply

    Just yesterday I lost my brother and closest friend , he was 51 years old , Every day in the morning and in the evening call me video and send me messages ( good morning) and good evening
    Always tell me ( take care of your health ) every day telling me this .I’m 55 years .
    In sudden I got a call at 3:20 Am that he passed away due to heart attack .
    I work in KSA and he is in Jordan ( No flights due to Covid-19) .
    All my lovely memories in Jordan with him .
    He was also closed friend to my son who passed away due to luakamia in 2012 ; 19 years old .
    We were closed friends .
    Now both passed a way and feel that I’m the one who passed away ; not them . I think they are both with each other and left me alone . I’m very sad and just crying.My life is over now .

    3
    • Maria  August 31, 2020 at 12:17 am Reply

      This article helped me greatly. My son at 38 died of covid in the UK, in April, I’m in Australia and couldn’t get there. I felt like I didn’t what to let go of my pain because it didn’t do justice to how much I loved him and missed him.
      Firstly by acknowledgement that this is ok and not uncommon, secondly by highlighting a way of developing a new and different relationship with my son, and that I’m allowed to move past the pain without diminishing his importance, nor my love for him but forging a new and different relationship with him. That’s not to say that his loss, for me, is in any minimised, there will always be a hole in my heart. I can develop this new relationship, without feeling guilty. I posted a memory on his Facebook page and I’m writing to him in my diary. I’m lucky I have some wonderful memories of time spent together.

  55. Randeep Kaur  June 3, 2020 at 12:36 pm Reply

    I lost my dear beloved sister who was only 62 years old on 10/4/20 during the Lockdown. She was in a care home but died suddenly in hospital. She had suffered with heart failure. My mum is 92 years old. We find it very hard to accept her passing. But she told me a few days before that she wanted a pair of new shoes and was going to heaven and that mum would follow. She also told mum that she was going to dad who is in heaven. It’s so sad. She was such a pure soul. She suffered with schizophrenia all her life and took strong medications with so many aude effects . She had really suffered on earth.

  56. Joe  May 25, 2020 at 11:34 am Reply

    Thank you so much for this page. I lost the love of my life to Covid-19 on 3 April. I am finding it so tough. I write to him every day. I have pictures. I talk to him. But I really love the suggestions you’ve made. I’m going to work my way through them. He is in my heart and can never leave and some of these suggestions will cement that.

    2
    • Greg W  August 4, 2020 at 3:04 am Reply

      Hi Joe…I first want to give you a hug…hold you and tell you I know your live for each other was not only reall…but it continues.
      I lost my Husband and unquestionable Love of my life 15 months ago to Multiple Myelom Cancer. The pain of not having him here was unbearable…we shared a deep connection.
      One thing that really helps me is to talk to Steve outloud. Without a doubt I always tell him hiw I still Love him and that I miss him beyond measure. I also try tell him aloud about the good things happening in my life. Ive learned that I dont want him to carry just the burden if my grief but also share in the joy ans laughter in my life…just as he were here! This alone is bringing a peace into my heart and changing the way I view his new realm or reality. Also…I allow space in the conversation for Steve to respond. I think of what he would probably be saying to me..then repeat it outloud so He knows that I know!
      I will not tell you that your continuing journey without him gets easier. When you truly connect with someone with a deep Love and oneness you will feel the loss forever. What I CAN tell you is that as time passes you will gain a better understanding of the nature of your new relationship between your physical self and the new form he has taken on of energy and spirit.
      I can tell you that on many occassions Steve has reached out to me. Ask your love to communicate with you. Be patient stay open and let him know your not pressuring him…but If he is able to…your open to receiving his messages of his presence.
      Just remember that he now has answers to the questions you and I are still asking.
      I always ask Steve to learn everything he can so he can show me the ropes wgen I arrive!
      I have NO DOUBT that my Steve will be right there to receive me and be my guide when I move to the next space of my continued existance….YOURS WILL TOO.
      On a final note…if you havent read Journey of Souls…read it. It along with Steves continued presence has totally realigned my beliefs on intuitive connection and erased my limited views of what happens after our spirit moves from our temporary physical bodies.
      I dont know you but I am sending you love ..compassion and healing as your brother in humanity.
      Greg W

      3
  57. Sara  May 22, 2020 at 2:15 am Reply

    I have lost the love of my life janik. He was only 20 years old. He was stressed and hospitalized he kept contacting me slowly like once in a week then suddenly I couldnot hear from him his phone was off for 3 months and after it I wrote his friends and found he suicided on 18-2-2020 I’m so broken and miss him very much I don’t know what to do what not to do. He just broke me inside. However we were in LDR his mom talks to me and shares me his photos .The ring he bought for me is in room still I miss him very much.

  58. tasha  May 13, 2020 at 10:58 am Reply

    The buddhist Old religion priest is a very holy and powerful man, I have never seen anything like this.It is a good remedy to resolve marital problems. anyone can also be a testimony to manuka temple his contact.. lovesolutiontemple1@gmail. com

  59. Annette  May 11, 2020 at 9:22 am Reply

    Hi
    My partner was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 19/2/20 and passed away 9/3/20, he was only 57. We had no time to adjust or really talk about it, as he was in hospital for a week and sadly died in hospital with out myself or our daughter by his side, he had four members of NHS staff with him. What with his death and the Lockdown it has been real hard, the grieving process. My thoughts are with everyone who has lost a loved one!!

    5
  60. Ghislaine Thomsen  March 1, 2020 at 12:49 pm Reply

    I am the newsletter editor and co-leader of our Katy chapter of the Compassionate Friends. I find your continuing bonds theory of grief excellent and so helpful. Would you allow me to post in our newsletter the 16 tips listed above. I believe it will help a lot of our bereaved families.
    Thank you
    Ghislaine Thomsen

  61. Chris  February 7, 2020 at 12:06 am Reply

    I lost my cousin/Big sister figure in 4/18/2014. I’m writing this at this time because I’ve been feeling sad and thinking about her all night ? she got into her car after having a lot of drinks and early the next morning they found her crashed in a ditch dead. We used to chat on MySpace and Facebook almost every night. It’s been 6 years almost and I still find this sadness/depression hit me at random times and tonight it hit me so hard I don’t know if I can get back up after this. I can’t shower tonight it’s so hard

    1
    • AC  February 21, 2020 at 7:06 pm Reply

      I truly hope you have shared this with your support people! Please take the steps to take care of yourself. As the post says-live the life your cousin would want you to live! Make them proud! It is 2020-there is NO reason you can’t get help through this to find your way again. There are so many people willing to help! Reach out!

      1
  62. Alankrita Singh  January 13, 2020 at 4:08 am Reply

    My grandfather passed away in his sleep. some are saying he passed away due to extreme cold weather and had a cardiac arrest in his sleep. he didnt wake up from his sleep. it broke my family so much. i am broken. after reading I am validated for many methods I can try and I wanted to try. i will try gardening because he loved it. I write diaries like he used to but I came to know this when he died. I brought worn muffler to feel his presence. I talk to him when i am alone at times. I will visit my grandmother in the coming week and do some cleaning and spend time with her. he used to cut vegetables for cooking so I want to do it this time. i miss him. so much…

    • Blessing  July 11, 2020 at 1:51 am Reply

      Thanks for all these tips. I think it will be wonderful if we can incorporate how grieving is handled in the bible, that will help to do it appropriately without pushing oneself beyond what is expected of us while grieving. However, thank you so much for this forum. I have a project I would like to complete for my daughter that passed. I will be very happy if I can get an artist who can help me finish painting her portrait that she was working on before she passed. Thanks

      1
  63. Web Development in Australia  December 21, 2019 at 5:34 am Reply

    Glad to see this blog article. I want to thank the writer of this website for this amazing content. I just stumbled upon the weblog also the website layout is nice. Keep writing and thanks for your efforts

  64. Simone  December 14, 2019 at 9:37 am Reply

    A friends mother who he was very close to and is taking her death very hard is now in the hospital the day of her funeral…their soul tie is drawing him to join her as heis body is shutting down..

  65. Dom  December 12, 2019 at 11:15 pm Reply

    My best friend took his own life just a few days ago, I can’t believe I’m actually never going to see or talk to him again

    1
  66. Arsh  December 7, 2019 at 9:17 pm Reply

    I lost my dad at 1/8/2018 11:20 am o’clock
    I really miss him I can’t believe happened my dad healthy doesn’t have problems very funny man I’m still didn’t visit him because I’m not live in my country I’m very far from him every day ‏Pray god back soon to visit him
    He was Hero man did everything for me
    Every second in my mind I can’t never ever forget he control my mind I so miss him
    Dad I love you so muchhhhhh I hope coming my dream tonight speaking Each other

  67. Michelle Mosley  December 6, 2019 at 6:13 pm Reply

    My daughter committed suicide day before yesterday. I want here to come see me. I miss her so much

    1
    • San Harrison  December 11, 2019 at 9:54 pm Reply

      Michelle I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, my son committed suicide on the 6th of October, I was really taking it hard, I had to Pray Very Hard for Peace that Surpasses all understanding. I trust God to take the Pain, and he does, Pray Hard and Trust God!

    • sara h  February 16, 2020 at 7:56 pm Reply

      Has she visited?
      I’m sorry for your loss!!

  68. Tricia  November 9, 2019 at 11:31 pm Reply

    I lost my dad October 29th 2019 suddenly. He was 63 , appeared healthy and had just retired. I’m so sad and the thought of moving forward in life without him is unbearable. I don’t ever want to be happy in life if he’s not here. I don’t know if that sounds normal or not.
    My mom and husband have already experienced his visits and I’m desperate for him to come and see me. I’m so fucking sad. I want my dad back

    2
    • Elizabeth Preciado  November 14, 2019 at 7:21 pm Reply

      Tricia, I just lost my dad on October 25,2019 he was my everything..your story sounds so similar to mine. he was 67 and looked so healthy and happy! He loved life. I don’t even know how I’m going to move on without him. Monday we had his viewing and Tuesday we had the funeral. I have never experience pain like this. Like you I want my daddy back! He was fine I had just talked to him. I’m also waiting for him to visit me. This is so hard

    • Avi  November 26, 2019 at 10:50 am Reply

      I am having the same feeling right now, my dad passed away last Sunday and I still can’t believe that I won’t be able to see him again…. I am not sure how I will be able to overcome this

      • Nicole  December 14, 2020 at 12:52 pm

        I promise you will be able to overcome it. I was where you were and it was bad, but I promise what you are feeling will pass with time.

    • Monika  February 7, 2020 at 11:32 am Reply

      My dad passed away on July 28, 2019. I am still in shock and it has been 6 months! He was 65 and playing tennis just the Sunday before it happened. All I can say to the above commenters is the road when grieving is a bumpy one but the bumps seem to come less often after time goes by. I am not crying constantly now but instead am going about my life and then something will trigger me and it all floods back. Try to do little things to keep you close to your Dad. I still check his email every day , for some reason this keeps me in touch with him. Try writing a letter to them or putting together a photo album of pictures of them. I really empathize with all of you. It is the worst most heart wrenching pain.

  69. Charlene Miller  November 4, 2019 at 1:58 pm Reply

    I lost the love of my life Oct 20. We met at 15, split up at 17, go back together at 19 and split up at 24. I always dreamed we would get married but we did not. We lived in different places and flew to visit each other every 3-4 weeks. We were each other’s first lovers. He had a high profile job in federal law enforcement and travelled all over the world. He married and divorced 3 times. I married and divorced once. I never stopped thinking of him. We finally found each other May 19, 2017. He had many health challenges and could not travel to see me. I finally visited him Sept 20-25 this year (2019). The minute we touched and kissed each other it was magic. I was planning another trip Nov 15. The morning he died he sent me a long messenger text but didn’t call. I contacted his son who found him gone. I am destroyed. I am heartbroken. We waited our whole life to find each other again. I loved him fiercely and completely. We had no opportunity to express our love physically the first visit but were planningto the second visit. I will never get over him.

    • J  November 21, 2019 at 9:47 pm Reply

      Charlene,

      I know what your talking about. I met the love of my life April 15, 2016 and we dated and were trying to get things together. We were both freshly divorced and I was scared because we had to just gotten divorced from other people and all. But he never once Went away we talked all the time spent time together. I moved away closer to my parents and his parents were 30 minutes from me. We planned on getting married and he had bought a ring and everything. I had the ring because he gave it to me to keep until I was ready and so he said he was staying at his parents after there annual trip. We planned on getting together and I was going to tell him how I felt when he came back. The day he died he text me early in the morning to tell me he was so close to me. They were on a boat. I talked to him until I went to work told him I loved him and didn’t hear from him again. I thought it was weird but thought it was because he was with his family. 3 days later I got the call from his sister he had died. I’ve been devastated every since. I hope with time we both can heal from our lost loves. I truly know he was my soul mate. Thanks everyone for listening.

      2
  70. Giulia  October 26, 2019 at 8:09 am Reply

    I lost my love suddenly due to motorcycle accident 6 weeks ago. I still hope that it’s a bad dream and when I wake up, he is still here. I don’t feel anything most of the time. And then it takes my breath away how much it hurts. I keep thinking what’s the point here? I am SO lost without Him

    2
    • Lakesha  November 2, 2019 at 10:06 am Reply

      I lost my baby brother the same way. I totally agree and share those same feelings! Praying for you as you walk this new journey ?

  71. Laira Cruz  October 23, 2019 at 12:06 am Reply

    How come I don’t see my best friend anymore (because my parents made me quit band. We were playing the same instruments, the tuba) but I feel like he’s gone?

  72. Brianna Vansloten  October 11, 2019 at 5:34 pm Reply

    Thank you for all the posts & comments… on August 25, 2019 this year. So not even 2 months ago I lost my boyfriend which would have been my soon to be husband… he was older than me and we had known eAchother since I was younger and then later in life our relationship was meant to be something else which was a true love story. And then on that night as we were away at a hotel for a night for an event I had for a friend… he passed away right in front of me from a heart attack… it was truly like something out of a movie, the screaming and crying and begging him to hold on and not leave me… I never thought my heart could actually break like this. I’m in so much pain.. & when I read the first post it felt like how I feel. I just want to lay in bed all day and cry.. I would give anything in this world to have him and his life back. I know I will never ever love someone like him to the point where i feel like I can never be with anyone else ever again. I just want him & I’m so lost… I just don’t know how to go through these motions and get through the worse of times…. and I try to do everything I can the to try and feel him or have him come tk me and I just don’t even know. All I feel I do is sit here and stare at the wall and think about every moment with us & I just feel like I’m dying inside. I just want the love of my life back… thank you for listenin…. I wish everyone the best of hope on your grief of loosing your loved one, I now know how painful it could be…

    I love you Randy… you are and always will be the love of my life. Your with me always, I can feel you! Miss you baby!

    • Deena Johnson  October 23, 2019 at 7:01 pm Reply

      I lost my fiancee on September 25, 2019.. I am completely devastated and heartbroken. We had the best day ever the day before I found him on my garage floor. He was blue and cold and I called 911… and my girls and I performed CPR on him, then the paramedics came and shot him with 2 epi needles and got a rhythm on his heart but no oxygen until an hour later in the hospital through his central line. He was without oxygen for 2 hours so he was on life support. That was a sunday September 22 and Wednesday 25th he was pronounced brain dead. They took him to donate his liver the early morning of September 26th and he was the first person to be able to do the walk of honor at that hospital so he would be so proud of that. But that was the last time we seen him , we had to leave him at the door as they walked through with him to go into surgery. He was 45 years old. We met when I was 11 and he was 13, he has always been the love of my life but we went our separate paths and came back to each other 3 years ago and we love each other more than anyone could ever imagine. I am literally dying without him I just don’t know what to do. I want to be with him and only him so bad it hurts. I beg him every day to let me see him and to come back please come back. I talk to him constantly and have his pictures all around me, I sleep with his shirt he had on the night before that I dug out of the dirty clothes that I will never in a million years wash. He is my true soulmate and I can not wait to see him again. His name is Robert Wood we called him Bob and I will never have anyone else in this lifetime because I know I wouldn’t love that person and that just wouldn’t be fair. So I will wait to see the love of my life again. Thank you for listening. It’s so hard to talk top people about it because I cry my eyes out then they can’t understand me. So thank you. I love you Bob forever always and even.

      1
      • Bobbie M.  February 15, 2020 at 5:52 pm

        So sorry for your loss, Deena. I feel the same way about my husband who passed last April 19. We were together over 30 yrs and I can’t even imagine being with anyone else. Now, I’m just existing, waiting. But I know he’s with me and can hear me talking to him. God bless you and remember you’re not alone.

        1
  73. Mag  October 1, 2019 at 11:09 am Reply

    I lost my soul mate in 2008. He was T-boned driving through an intersection when a man who was drunk and high on multiple different pills, who even after having his license taken away after multiple DUIs, still got behind the wheel and flew through the red light at 90mph and hit him, completely tearing through my loves vehicle to the point that it was unrecognizable. My heart shattered into a million pieces and after 11 years I am sorry to say that those pieces are still on the floor. I am angry because the POS who hit him survived with only a few broken bones. My love was pronounced DOA. The funeral is where it all became real. I walked into the parlor and saw the casket on the other side and my loves hair is all I saw when my legs gave out, I couldnt stand. I broke down in the middle of the room. I couldnt bring myself to go see him in his casket until the end of the viewing service and only after my sister convinced me I would regret it if I didnt. I miss him. He was so handsome, so perfect. He looked like James Dean and could always make me smile. Hes the only man I’ve ever loved completely… before and after his death…. I hate to say it never gets better, but it’s gotten easier to deal with after all these years. I still have days when I cant bring myself to get out of bed, when all I do is cry. I still lay in bed at night and try to remember every single moment I had with him. All those beautiful moments that are now so painful in my heart. I long for the nights I can see him in my dreams even though it means losing him all over again when I wake.
    I wish you all peace and healing. Just be strong even when you just want it to end.
    “Hes gone to heaven so I’ve got to be good
    so I can see my baby when I leave this world”

    • Christi  October 6, 2019 at 10:31 am Reply

      Thank you for your post. I lost my soulmate in August 2017. I couldn’t even acknowledge that it happened until a few months ago because my spirit knew I couldn’t deal with it. I was depressed and withdrawn for over 2 years. When it did start affecting me, it was and is the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with. My 23 year old son died in 2007 and I thought that was the end of me. But my man put me back together then. I feel like 99% of my heart has died. I just found this article and it’s comforting because I feel my partner everywhere. I look for more ways to stay connected to him. ??

  74. Jyoti Bhatia  September 26, 2019 at 7:47 am Reply

    I recently lost my dear mother. She was very close to my heart and the day she died I didn’t speak to her. She was the only person with whom I used to share my feelings and now I feel devastated. I know she can’t come back but somewhere deep down I want her back in my life. I want to express my feelings to her but what to do. I want to talk to her soul is it risky? I don’t know but somehow I want to communicate with her just once. I can’t pen down my exact feelings but I even don’t feel her presence in form of dreams. What should I do?

  75. Katie Morrison  September 2, 2019 at 4:50 pm Reply

    Yes I have had some of my old baby clothes from when I was little!! One of them is a onies baby outfit & one is my old brownie uniform!!! Everytime I hold it I feel my mother’s presence!!! I hold it real close to me and hug the clothes I also have a teddy bear that she gave me when I was little!!! I keep them very close to me!!! & I made a locket & I made her a facebook page in her memory!!! I think next what I will do is make a video with people saying what they remembered about our loved ones!!!

  76. Gary Arithson  August 25, 2019 at 10:25 pm Reply

    My wife Connie passed away about one year ago but since that time I have music every day

    1
  77. Kathleen  August 6, 2019 at 11:54 pm Reply

    I am not close to my family for different reasons, but the two people I love to think about from my past were my neighbor who I loved to annoy/visit after my grandmother passed away thirty three years ago. I was a little girl, but I have fond memories of them. My father is a minister and the church he ministered, my neighbors belonged to that church. Within the past nine years, I gained an interest in sewing children’s clothes because one of the last things Mary gave me was a yard of fabric. Her husband died shortly after she did. But my problem is I feel like I am dwelling on the negative in the past concerning my family. Sometimes I feel discouraged or not right that I have my neighbors’ photo on my home screen on my phone. I see my family happy and I feel like I am living in the past. Is this healthy?

  78. Pooja R Sharmaa  August 3, 2019 at 11:29 pm Reply

    He left me on June 9th, 2019.
    And I am so devastated. My husband was my life . I just can not breathe. The world has moved since then but I am still standing there, on 9th June, waiting for him to call my name. Perhaps I have yet not accepted that he is never coming back. When I look into his eyes in his picture in my bedroom – I just break down, I collapse. I feel suicidal all the time. Nothing is comforting me. Literally nothing. He gifted me a diary in March this year and asked me to write our story in it but at that time I was like .. ok I will someday. Now , when I pick that diary up, it just feels like a huge stone kept right over my heart. A question arises – did he already know that one day we will become a story ? This all leaves me breathless and lost for life. I am still fighting with myself each second to chose between life and death. I do not even get to see him in my dreams. That is even more painful as his brother dreams of him every second night. Each memory, each second spent with him kills me now. The most wonderful moments have turned into most painful moments. His voice notes …yes I have them and some of our call recordings, the videos we made on phone… I am just getting mad. People out there.. please pray for me .. I thing I have lost it and I won’t be able to make it up to life.

    • Aj Lang  August 23, 2019 at 12:36 am Reply

      I lost my husband on July 23, 2019. September 11, would have been our 17th wedding anniversary. He had suffered a heart attack 2 yrs ago and received cpr for over 1/2 hour. His kidneys shut down, & he was on kidney dialysis which his kidneys fully recovered from. The Drs. said he was a miracle and should have never survived it, yet he did. His cardiologist told us in June 2019 that “everything was working as it should.” Because of that news, I felt comfortable to fly our grandson home. I was due to fly back on July 23 the same day my neighbors found him dead on our bathroom floor. I had asked them to check on him when he didn’t call me back. I am paralyzed with grief and guilt that I wasn’t there to help him. My heart hurts. He was my soulmate, my best friend and the love of my life. I am angry at God, and the Drs. that said he was “ok.” I don’t know how I am supposed to live without him. Most of me died with him and I don’t know what to do.

      1
      • Alison  August 25, 2019 at 6:44 pm

        OMG! I lost my fiance July 21st. I also had no reason to think he was in any danger with his heart. But we had just moved in this house and 5 days after he died of a heart attack while sleeping on the couch. I was busy trying to get stuff put away. He felt nauseous earlier that afternoon so I spent 15 minutes or so helping him and I got to hold him in my arms while I washed him down with a cold washcloth. I wish I knew that would be the last time we held each other.
        By the time I finished up for the night it was 4:40 in the morning. I walked over to him on the couch to bring him to bed with me and the closer I got to him I could see he was already gone. I lost it. I was screaming his name and sobbing but he’d been gone for hours bc he’d started to change and I will be forever haunted by that image. He was cold and stiff.
        I don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t let him go. I just found the shirts he was wearing that day. He was sweating so much that I took them off of him. I just put on his shirts from that day. I have begged God to bring him back to me. I don’t leave the house because I feel he’s here and once I walk out of the door I will lose him forever and I feel like I’m abandoning him if I leave here. I feel like I’m suffocating. I miss him so much it’s physically painful. How do you just pick up and move on when you have lost the one person who was everything to you?? I can’t see the phone anymore due to the sobbing.
        I want him to let me see him.

    • Elizabeth  August 30, 2019 at 12:28 pm Reply

      Once you start writing even if it a dear letter to your loved one, the stone does begin to lift. Writing is a beautiful way to express the pain, loss, suffering. I can fathom your loss. I have had many losses, and sometimes there seems to be so little to do to get rid of the feeling because you tried so many ways. I remember my mother saying… always have a hobby of some sort because you get lost in it for awhile and stop dwelling on problems. If you go the diary, you don’t have to write in it, you can doodle your expressions, then look back it when some days or weeks past. You will see how you have grown. Much hugs

    • Lisa Walker  October 6, 2019 at 4:42 am Reply

      I can so relate to your story. I lost my love and soulmate January 15, 2018 where he was in the hospital in ICU. He was very sick, but I did not know he was gonna die. Ever since that time it has been extremely difficult. Crying all the time, no motivation, depressed and yes, i think about suicide but too scared to do it, but it does cross my mind. I know as a Christian I should get my head in the word and meditate on that, but instead I just stay miserable and dont know how to continue living.

  79. Vickie Taylor  July 6, 2019 at 5:31 pm Reply

    I lost my sweet and handsome husband January 11,2019. We were married 52 years and we were always very close. We were both virgins when we married and he was my one and only sex partner. He said I was his one and only as well. I have no reason to doubt him, we did everything together. The pain of losing him is almost unbearable at times. He was my life and now my life is so empty. We have one child and I talk to them about their dad al ost everyday. It has really hit them hard as well as me. I need away to grieve without trying to move on and get over it. I don’t want to get over it.

  80. Ruth  June 20, 2019 at 4:06 pm Reply

    Daddy passed away 2 months ago…. I miss him so so much and it angers me everyday because I still have things to say to him….. daddy I love you

    • Cheryl Conklin  October 16, 2019 at 3:22 pm Reply

      my fiance died April 27th this sounds just like his daughter I really hope you can get through your emotions and work things out and feel the presence of him with you daily

  81. Patricia Jordan  June 6, 2019 at 4:14 pm Reply

    The best Person to restore your broken marriage and bring back your ex lover email him at Robinson.buckler {@} yahoo .com…………Best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  82. Alysoun Mahoney  April 27, 2019 at 10:44 pm Reply

    Elaborating further on my post of January 30: My husband died in an apparent accident 3-1/2 years ago. Six months after his death, I created a memorial fund in his name, which supports the causes he and I had supported together during his life. The work of the fund allows me to continue to say my husband’s name daily in the context of talking about the causes — and this seems to be socially acceptable, whereas just sharing memories of my husband himself seems not to be. Grrrr. I’ve found memorial funds to be surprisingly rare – especially funds that memorialize a spouse (vs. another loved one) and funds that support a cause the deceased loved in life (vs. a cause that is about fighting the way they died). I’m not sure why memorial funds are so rare. Perhaps people think they have to be zillionaires to start one? Obviously the more money you have, the better, but you can start a fund for as little as $5,000. And for me, it fills so many needs. For example, from the numbered list in this post, my memorial fund addresses items 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11 and 13!

  83. Don Bales  April 26, 2019 at 2:57 pm Reply

    It was July 20th, 2018 and my alarm went off as normal at 530. I hit the snooze and laid in bed for a little longer.
    Finally getting up before the alarm went off again, I jumped in the shower to start my day and then get my butt downstairs, fix breakfast and get to work.
    When I get out of the shower and start drying off, I notice my wife is awake and checking e-mails on her phone while she still lays in bed. She had just gotten back the night before from a business trip in Memphis for her work.
    She asked me if she should make the bed or strip it. I said strip it and stayed upstairs long enough to see her get out of bed and make sure I took in her naked body as she started to pull the bedspread down before I headed downstairs.
    While I was downstairs starting to get things together for breakfast…I heard odd noises upstairs and went back up to see if everything was okay.
    I found her laying across the stripped bed, naked and my first thought was she picked a hell of a time to entice me for a romp this morning. I had to chuckle to myself.
    Then I got closer and noticed that she was stiff as a board and laying in a pool of her own urine. Instant panic….as I grabbed her and shook her and slapped her face a few times as I thought she had suffered a seizure. She opened her eyes and looked at me but looked confused. She did not understand what had happened to her and neither did I. Still thinking she had a seizure I grabbed towels to mop up the urine and started to try and get some clothes on her and get her down to Urgent Care…only a few blocks away. She kept saying that she felt odd, could not breath so I called 911. I then went and woke up my son and told him that his Mom had suffered a seizure and to go downstairs and wait for the ambulance, also to call his grandmother and tell her we were on our way to the hospital and to meet us there.
    At this point, she and I both knew something else was wrong. Her lips were blue and the look of confusion on her face told me there was more going on. She continued to say that she couldn’t breathe.
    It was then that whatever it was hit her again and she fell down onto the bed, non-responsive.
    I started CPR on her right then and there…doing compressions and giving breaths as quickly as I could. I only stopped for a moment to call 911 again…..where the fuck are you…they are only down the street and why aren’t they here. WHY!!!!????
    I put the phone down with the 911 operator still on the line and continued doing CPR. I screamed at my wife the entire time. Please don’t go, please don’t leave us…we love you…. don’t you dare leave me. I gave the last breath before the EMT’s arrived and the air just left her, and I looked into her eyes for the last time and I knew in the back of my mind that she was gone. I held out hope because the EMT’s were here and they can do almost anything. Revive, shock, drugs…..all of it and I was holding out for their miracle.
    I left the room and went downstairs to be with my son while they worked on her. They were very efficient and had her on a gurney, down the stairs and in the ambulance in minutes. We answered a few questions from the Sheriffs deputies and then headed to the hospital. It was pouring down rain the entire time and the ride to the hospital took a little longer. Her Mom was there when we got there talking to a nurse in the ER lobby. It was not more than 15 minutes before they came out and said that she was gone.
    Those words will stay with me forever. Her Mom broke immediately, and it took only a few seconds for it to hit me. What was I going to do?? How I am I going to do this without her?
    Then other things started to pour into my head……I must call people, I have call work, I must call her work, who do I call at her work. What do I say????!!!!! FUCK!!! What do I say?????!!!!
    I called my parents, I called my older sons, I called my office, I finally got in touch with someone in her office and talked to her boss. Somehow or another our pastor was called, and he showed up shortly afterwards.
    It is all like a horrible dream that I can’t wake up from. None of us can.
    Now I have a 17-year-old son that is a senior in high school this year and she won’t be around for any of those milestones. The drivers license, the prom, senior dance, class play (family night), graduation, Eagle court of honor, start college, grandkids. All of that is gone for her and me to experience together and I am angry every day about it. I scream and yell and God. I scream and yell at her for leaving me/us…. alone. I don’t know how people deal with this loss and come out on the other side or if they even come out on the other side. It’s been 9 months now since my wife died and I know it’s better now than that first day, that first month but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.

    As I read a story today, I will close with a quote….
    ………. The woman I married is in a cardboard box in the corner of my bedroom. And she’s never coming back.

    • Omesha Moodley  May 28, 2019 at 9:55 am Reply

      My mom left us about 3 weeks ago, she simply felt hot, couldn’t breathe and then slept forever before the paramedics got to her. She was gone in 8 minutes. Your story is so similiar because your wife didnt display any signs of ill-health or that she would leave. I am annoyed at my mum for leaving us and our dad, and her mom, although we (her kids) are adults, I feel abandoned. As for God, him and I are having issues, I can’t imagine why He would steal her away, it angers me to feel cheated by Him.
      But I look around me and see my friends and others that have lost someone close, and they still smile and continue life. I try to remind myself that I am my mother’s daughter, and that I take from her strength and determination, despite the hardest moments that overwhelm me. It’s still early days for me, but this is helping me get up each day.

  84. Laura Michelle Kennedy  April 23, 2019 at 10:02 am Reply

    I don’t have suggestions, but wanted to comment that this site has helped me in ways nothing else has been able to (including grief counseling). I am super grateful and hope to see this site continue for many years to come. I lost my mother in March 2018 and it’s the most profound loss I have ever experienced – to have this extra support is invaluable. Thank you WYG.

  85. Anni West LaPrise  April 17, 2019 at 6:34 pm Reply

    Thank you for posting this. I think this is why after about 16 months the pain as eased. I am 18 months out and have done most of these on my own. Minh is still a part of my life daily naturally and that has helped greatly.

  86. Mary Oros  April 12, 2019 at 4:40 am Reply

    I miss you antonio !! I love u more more every day !!

  87. Alysoun Mahoney  January 30, 2019 at 3:50 pm Reply

    In October 2015, my 52-year old husband of 23 years was inexplicably crushed to death by his own vintage car on the small farm we had just purchased and fixed up as our dream home. I sold the property and the car, and used the proceeds to establish a memorial fund to continue honoring my husband and the animal rights causes he and I had supported together during our marriage.

  88. Kristen Rae Johnson  November 2, 2018 at 7:18 pm Reply

    This article totally resonates with my grieving experience. As, I try to live the rest of my life without my loved one’s physical presence in this world, I find comfort in wearing my best friend’s beloved ashes in keepsake jewelry and keeping her photographs in frames in my bedroom. I also find comfort in holding close her fave dress- it was something she wore ALOT. 🙂 And I have made a few tribute videos. That at least makes me smile. She is so beautiful, inside and out. I also have saved texts, emails, and 32 voicemails on my smartphone. Listening to her voice is so comforting!
    Coming to terms with my bestie’s passing is tough, the grieving process is slow because even though we are physically separated, I still LOVE her with a passion and death didn’t destroy it. So, I know that Love is eternal. And every day I do feel her spirit is with me.

    • Linda Knight  September 7, 2019 at 10:52 am Reply

      Your post hit home for me as I too am trying to deal with losing my best friend of 51 years who died suddenly and unexpectantly alone in her home in March. I am crushed beyond words over losing her. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that she is really gone. It just kills me. Anyhow, I have a few items of hers that her brothers were kind enough to send to me that do bring me some comfort but they also bring tears when I look at them. It is so hard losing your best friend. We just go on so well we did. She was everything to me. Now that she is gone I find it very hard to go on without her and wonder why I am here and she is not? Guilt over she is gone and I am still here. I feel we were robbed of our time together. She was only 59. She and I had many conversations before her death and in one she told me she had never known anyone as long as she had known me. I thought wow that is odd to say out of the blue..and it was. But it was true. We had known each other forever… our lifetime. And now she is gone and I have no idea how to move on without my best friend. I have done things in her memory to remember her by but I still am not able to find much comfort in anything I do that way. I just want her back so bad. I know it is crazy coz it cannot happen. I miss her so much. I just feel lost without her now. I found a voicemail I had from her and I have decided that I am going to have a Soundwave tattoo done of it so that I will forever be able to hear her voice and never worry about losing the voicemail I do have of her. I never want to forget her voice…like you with your friend and all her voicemails to you. I have also found that time does not heal…it just makes things hurt more coz you realize your best friend will never come back. They are gone forever and somehow we have to figure out how to move on without them which is so very hard to do. So sad.

      1
  89. Grace M Mathis  June 28, 2018 at 1:05 pm Reply

    My husband of 52 yrs 6 mos 14 dys 3 hrs & 50 mins passed away last month. It’s like my heart was ripped out of my chest. It will never heal. He was my best friend, we grew up together. He asked me to marry him the day after we met & 6 wks later we were married. We also have a teen son & a teen daughter at home that lost their birth parents when they were very young. He died 18 dys after being told how sick he was. Shock – no time to say goodbye for taking care of him & navigating the hospice system & dealing with relatives. Thank you for this special information – it incorporates many peoples ways to grieve – we aren’t all the same.

    1
  90. M .Homes  June 7, 2018 at 7:16 am Reply

    i want to use this medium to really appreciate my spiritual father a man who built his world the needing, man who displeases his self to please others, a man who put his self and family on the line to ensure one happiness, Dr Mack on behalf of my family we say thank you. for restoring my home my husband change suddenly after 6 years of our marriage i did all i could to restoring him to non avail at a time i gave up because this time he has no feeling for me anymore i cried i prayed God lead me to one blog where a testimony was shared how he help a lady out of her family predicament, i contacted him and he gave me a life responds. he told me what was wrong that i should provide him few details which i did 12hour later husband call begging on phone, i dont know what he did but i know something was done.
    if i have find him earlier in my life i would not have undergo such pain in life so am sharing to the general public if you having marriage crises of relationship problem contact him now on his mail.
    ***********dr_mack@ yahoo. com*******

    ( wish you best of luck ).

  91. Kari Heldman  March 28, 2018 at 9:36 am Reply

    I lost my Daughter and 5 grandchildren on May 15,2017 when a man in their neighborhood set their house on fire. I have been having a real hard time dealing with it. However I was quite pleased to read the list of things they suggested to help deal with the grief because I have been doing alot of them and was afraid to tell anyone for fear they would think I was crazy,now I know I’m not.I turned my spare bedroom into a memorial for them. I made a huge collage and put on one wall and have a blanket with pictures of all of them on another wall and then through out the room I have poems,pictures that the elementary school did in memory of my grand daughter and their class mate,and things like that and I also have the toy box full of toys I had at my house for them,some of their personal things like slippers,jewelry,story books,blankets that I just can’t part with in this room. I had to force myself to put up a Christmas tree and when I did I decorated it with their personalized ornaments,angels and precious memories,then after Christmas I couldn’t make myself take it down so I removed the Christmas ornaments and in February decorated it for Valentine’s day,and in March I redecorated it for Easter and I will continue to do this til Christmas comes again and then maybe I’ll be able to take it down. I also go over to their house,( which is just a shell,but still there and can’t be torn down til after the trial) and decorate the fence around it for each holiday,and on their birthdays I set off a balloon for every year old they are and sing Happy Birthday to them. Everyone keeps telling me it will get easier but I’m not sure it will. I thought that maybe after the trial,but now I’m told that it might not take place until 2019 and the thought of having to relive the tragedy again 2 years later is something I don’t know if I can handle.

  92. Kari Heldman  March 28, 2018 at 9:36 am Reply

    I lost my Daughter and 5 grandchildren on May 15,2017 when a man in their neighborhood set their house on fire. I have been having a real hard time dealing with it. However I was quite pleased to read the list of things they suggested to help deal with the grief because I have been doing alot of them and was afraid to tell anyone for fear they would think I was crazy,now I know I’m not.I turned my spare bedroom into a memorial for them. I made a huge collage and put on one wall and have a blanket with pictures of all of them on another wall and then through out the room I have poems,pictures that the elementary school did in memory of my grand daughter and their class mate,and things like that and I also have the toy box full of toys I had at my house for them,some of their personal things like slippers,jewelry,story books,blankets that I just can’t part with in this room. I had to force myself to put up a Christmas tree and when I did I decorated it with their personalized ornaments,angels and precious memories,then after Christmas I couldn’t make myself take it down so I removed the Christmas ornaments and in February decorated it for Valentine’s day,and in March I redecorated it for Easter and I will continue to do this til Christmas comes again and then maybe I’ll be able to take it down. I also go over to their house,( which is just a shell,but still there and can’t be torn down til after the trial) and decorate the fence around it for each holiday,and on their birthdays I set off a balloon for every year old they are and sing Happy Birthday to them. Everyone keeps telling me it will get easier but I’m not sure it will. I thought that maybe after the trial,but now I’m told that it might not take place until 2019 and the thought of having to relive the tragedy again 2 years later is something I don’t know if I can handle.

    • Gail Julmi  December 25, 2018 at 8:37 am Reply

      There are situations that i read about that boggle my mind; one is yours. I don’t know how you get up in the morning but good for you! that you do. My husband and I lost our only son to suicide three and a half years ago and we daily struggle. After all this time I am tormented by the fact that that i couldn’t stop him from doing the deed, nor did I know that he was suicidal. My son was hit by a car when he was around eight years old. I was not there to witness it but was told that he flew in the air by the impact and landed hard. I wonder if there was damage to his head where the brain separates from the skull and can affect the victim in profound ways unless they get help. No one recognized this as a possibility back then. He had a terrible life as an adult, was in and out of rehabilitation centers until he was thirty eight and had had enough. We will never get over this death and while we try to put on a brave front for the public we cry inside every day. You are a brave soul my dear; keep doing what is working for you.

  93. Louise  February 7, 2017 at 4:57 am Reply

    I’m going to have my darling husband’s shirts and jeans made into a patchwork skirt and quilt. That will save me the heartache of putting them out to strangers, and is another way I’ll feel connected to him. Excellent article.

    • Elizabeth  August 30, 2019 at 12:32 pm Reply

      I made a jean jacket out of the jeans myself. It really is cool looking and I know my loved one surely had a hand from above in making it with me.

  94. Emsss  January 3, 2017 at 6:00 pm Reply

    Hope Ryan Woodward was credited or was notified that text was put on his hard, hard work 😉

    • Litsa  January 3, 2017 at 6:15 pm Reply

      Hi Emsss- absolutely. the still frame image from the video has a credit in bottom left corner, citing both Woodward and the source. We also then include the video itself in the post, directly from his post on YouTube.

      • Patricia Jordan  June 6, 2019 at 4:13 pm

        The best Person to restore your broken marriage and bring back your ex lover email him at Robinson.buckler {@} yahoo .com…………Best of luck!!!!!!

  95. Debbie Wieck  November 15, 2016 at 4:42 am Reply

    Great list of things to keep your loved one’s spirit alive ♡ my 20 year old son Jacob passed away in Oct 2015 & we’ve got a life size cut out of him that we get out of the box to accompany us at family celebrations to have photos with. Some people might think it’s really weird but that’s the way we deal with things. No one knows how they will deal with grief, it’s as individual as DNA, a thumbprint. I’m pretty sure we do all in the list. Thanks for sharing x

    1
  96. Marie Hill  July 18, 2016 at 11:10 am Reply

    I found it upsetting at first to even look at my husband’s belongings in the closet, in his drawers. But the night of my first deep weeping, two weeks after his death, I wanted to touch and smell everything that he wore. I couldn’t find anything with his “smell “on it as I had washed all items while he was here at home with in-home care. I finally found a vest that he wore often, not a washable item, and there he was! I still go to hold it and sniff it to feel his presence. I don’t think this is odd at all, but just makes me feel connected to him still. I miss him so much . It is almost 6 weeks now that he is gone.

    • Jan  July 18, 2016 at 8:32 pm Reply

      I wear my husband’s after shave, lynx africa. Get some funny looks but I don’t care. On the morning he died as I was sadly walking down the 6 flights of stairs, I got halfway down arriving on the ICU floor. As I turned to take the next flight down I was surrounded by the scent of lynx africa. I must have looked shocked as a Dr came running over to me. I asked if a man had gone past and she replied that we were the only people on the landing. When I told her what had just happened she squeezed my hand and said he’s letting you know he’s made it home.

      • Litsa  July 21, 2016 at 12:05 pm

        Ah, what a comforting experience to have had. And I love that you wear it – smells trigger so much of our memory, what a great way to feel close to him!

      • Louise  February 7, 2017 at 4:55 am

        I wear hubby’s Joop Homme 🙂

      • Louise  February 7, 2017 at 4:58 am

        …And when his last bottle of Joop runs out, I’ll buy more.

      • Debbie Wieck  November 15, 2016 at 4:47 am

        Omg I love that scent too. Both my boys wear the lynks Africa. It reminds me of Jacob so much ? I’ve mentioned the scent in one of my blog entries. Ahh the triggers of memeories.

    • Litsa  July 21, 2016 at 12:11 pm Reply

      Oh Marie, I am so glad you found something that still had that comforting scent. It is amazing how much smells connect us to memories and can make us feel close to someone!

  97. Bette  May 19, 2015 at 10:15 am Reply

    I love your post,. I lost my husband of 39 years marriage, It was a sudden accident. two in a half years ago. I miss his sound of his voice. My grandson is graduating in a few weeks. He will be so missed at this event. My husband also died on this Grandson birthday. They were very close. I talk about my husband lots. we say things like papa would say or do, Never fails at family events we always seem to set the table with extra setting and sometimes an empty chair, Some days that are hard days a favorite song comes on the radio he liked, or I see a cardinal and always think it could be a sign,

    • Litsa  May 19, 2015 at 10:43 pm Reply

      Bette, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure the graduation will be bittersweet. After a loss that is the way, even the happiest of events are laced with sadness, wishing the person we love was there. It sounds like you are doing beautiful things to remember him, I hope the graduation day brings much joy.

      • Bette Champney  May 19, 2015 at 11:03 pm

        I so enjoy your site. I talk to my dog about Gary saying his name comfort for my dog to hear his name too. I took Gary slippers out left in a corner so my dog knows he is still the boss . The dog right after he died would lay on his slippers missed him too . Again I so enjoy your site

      • Litsa  May 19, 2015 at 11:18 pm

        Ahhh, that is so sweet Bette. I think we often underestimate the grief of animals! Thank you for the kind words about our site!

  98. Carol Myers  April 6, 2015 at 4:03 pm Reply

    We lost our son Nick 7 years ago at age 18. Since the first Christmas without him, we have hosted a Christmas party for all his friends (and now their children and spouses). They were a close group, and every year when I express doubts about having the celebration, they are quick to tell me it’s the one thing they look forward to during the holiday season. We always toast Nick, remembering to keep him in our hearts, and have a large time – exactly what he would do. Also, we have planted a tree in his memory in a city park near the high school he attended. We released balloons on the first birthday after we lost him, with a small ceremony at that same tree. We established a scholarship in his memory to a deserving band member at that same school, because we know how much he loved music and being a member of the marching band.
    And I talk to him all the time.

    • Litsa  April 6, 2015 at 5:22 pm Reply

      Ah Carol these are such beautiful tributes!! I LOVE the Christmas party- what a great idea!

  99. Chelsea Hanson  April 3, 2015 at 3:53 pm Reply

    Hi Litsa and Eleanor,

    Having lost both of my parents at a young age, I love all of these ideas and the concept of continuing bonds. Knowing that love lives on and the relationship continues has brought me comfort over many years. Thanks for all these great ideas and your inspiring work! I wish this concept could become mainstream rather than the misconceptions of “closure” and “moving on”. We know that no one really gets over grief, but learns to live with it, and by enjoying continuing bonds this makes living life more enjoyable …. that your beloved people can still be a part of your life, in new and different ways.

    Chelsea Hanson
    http://www.withsympathygifts.com

    • Litsa  April 6, 2015 at 2:08 am Reply

      Thank you Chelsea! And thanks for all the great items you provide that help people remember loved ones. Memorial items no doubt help us feel close to those we have lost and celebrate their memory, rather than making us feel we need to ‘move on’ in the traditional sense.

  100. Melissa  January 2, 2015 at 8:33 pm Reply

    Hi! I really love your posts and thank you so much for posting all that you do! but I have a question…I understand the grieving process is not a continual line from point a to point b…some times its one step forward and 500 back…and I also understand the process can take years …I guess my question is how do you get to the point when you can do all the wonderful suggestions without so much pain?…I lost my dad 2/07/13 and im not able to get to any point with out it being so painful still that it sometimes just takes my breath away…

    • Litsa  January 2, 2015 at 9:51 pm Reply

      Melissa, I am so sorry about your dad. You bring up a good but tough question. Personally, I think the key is starting small, just saying I will do one small, manageable thing today or this week or whatever. It then sometimes means accepting that it will be hard. They call it ‘grief work’ for a reason. Just like going to the gym can feel miserable and you just don’t want to do it, but you feel good afterwards and better in the long run, grief can be much the same. Our inclination is to avoid the pain, but sometimes it is only by leaning into the pain, working with it, that it eventually gets easier to manage. Some days will always be tough. Always. But eventually the really bad, take your breath away days get fewer and further between.

    • Gail Julmi  December 25, 2018 at 11:37 am Reply

      Exactly! As mentioned in a previous post concerning the suicide death of our son on Aug. 19 2015; how does one do all these things without so much pain? I shudder when a memory comes to mind. The memory is still too much to bear. Or I become breathless momentarily when i slip into ruminating about what he must have suffered before he did the deed. Someone posted me a cruel message on Facebook a few weeks ago indicating that the world does not revolve around me and to ‘suck it up.’ I share a lot of posts that others put on Facebook about being kind to those who are grieving. And I post a lot of photos of our son so they won’t forget that he once was a live, breathing human being. Many people say that time heals and some people put a timeline on grief. I am ‘up on a soap box’ and cannot come down off of it yet. Even if he is out of his misery my husband and I are in misery. I appreciate your article very much and it reminds me that i have normal feelings.

  101. virginia snyder  January 1, 2015 at 1:13 pm Reply

    Dearest Ron, It was so good to read your thoughts on “after death.” When wemet for lunch and you wondered how I was dealing with Ross’ inevitable death (he was in the final stages of Alzheimer’s and death was inevitable. I knew what you were going through but I am not sure if I gave you a complete answer. I did not send a sympathy card or anything when Jenny died as I didn’t know how you were dealing with it. I know how much you two loved each other. But you are right on with your list of 16 ways to deal with death. Sine Ross’ death, he has manifested (not sure if that’s the right word) to me on different occasions. He is continuing the research we did together and is so glad that am also. He thinks our research (mine doing and thinkingand Randy’s) will result in great answers. Those on the other side know what we are doing, what we are thing and when think of them. According to one of friends, with whom we kept in touch, remarked that he was happy, but wished his wife could , and not grieve the way she was grieving.

  102. Alta Hanlon  April 24, 2014 at 10:11 pm Reply

    I lost my husband to sepsis, which happened very quickly from a hospital acquired infection. It’s good to hear about continuing the bond with the deceased person instead of “closure, moving on”, etc. Love doesn’t die because the person is gone. I especially have a hard time parting with those things I associate with him. I am one who feels that it’s good to “go with the flow” instead of fighting it. My husband will always be a part of my life, whether others like it or not.

    • Gail Julmi  December 25, 2018 at 11:39 am Reply

      Amen!

  103. Lisa  March 28, 2014 at 5:33 pm Reply

    Hi Nita,

    My father died of Sepsis too.
    That was the hard part…..he died have to die.

    Continuing Bonds is a wonderful, useful “theory”, but it’s a DOING
    dynamic too. It gives you the ability to take action.
    When we first were gel-ing the idea for Aftertalk, our sub title was:
    “Continue the Conversation”. I had no idea writing to my father in
    Aftertalk’s Private Conversations was even continuing bonds.
    But I didn’t care what it was called , I overflowed with what I wanted
    to tell him because so much was going on (Wrong….) in my family.
    Who knew he was the glue. BUT….if I am quiet…..and I am writing
    to him……it almost feels like we are visiting each other.
    I like to believe he is.

    Wishing you Peace of Mind…..day by day.
    ALL THE BEST, Lisa

  104. Nita Gregory  March 28, 2014 at 4:26 pm Reply

    Hi,
    I just celebrated the One year Anniversary of my Daughter Rachelle, she passed away from Sepsis, and I found your ideas to be so great. I was able to remember my daughter in such a loving way. Thank you!!

  105. vito  March 26, 2014 at 7:55 am Reply

    Interesting post Kelly. Thanks for bringing up such an engaging topic. These are some really great practical tips for continuing bonds – thank you for sharing the post with all of us 🙂

  106. Litsa  March 24, 2014 at 10:59 pm Reply

    This is really interesting, Kelly. I am so glad it brought you what you needed from your mom. This is a really great example of continuing bonds – thank you so much for sharing.

  107. Litsa  March 24, 2014 at 10:44 pm Reply

    Kiri, this sounds amazing!! Please, if you think of it, come back after the trip and let us know how it goes. It sounds like it will be an amazing trip, however bittersweet! Take care for Zoe’s brithday – it sounds like you have a wonderful day planned to remember and be close to her.

  108. Litsa  March 24, 2014 at 10:41 pm Reply

    Hi Pamela. I am so sorry for your loss. You are right that this is something we should write more posts about. We do have one post that may interest you called “When Kids Can’t Remember”. It has some ideas for grieving when children didn’t know or can’t remember the person the lost, but many could apply for adults as well. We will definitely write more on this topic in the future.

    • Jan  July 18, 2016 at 8:22 pm Reply

      I think this is a good point. I work as a nanny and in Nov 2015 my lovely boss lost her precious ivf baby at 7 weeks pregnant. I was devastated, still am if truth be known even though 9 months have passed. I loved that little one from the moment of conception and was so looking forward to caring for him. Just 3 months later I lost my husband of 4 years suddenly and unexpectedly. I’m in a fog of grief I just can’t get out of. Add to this the fact that I believe that my boss has had ivf again and may be pregnant, I really can’t cope with any of it any longer.

  109. Litsa  March 24, 2014 at 9:18 pm Reply

    I agree Julie! I am not sure what I said that implied I thought that was strange, because I don’t think that at all!! I find so much comfort in several items I have that belonged to loved ones I have lost. I think it is so comforting to have items that remind me of the people I have lost. I only mentioned it may not be right for everyone because there has been some research showing it isn’t always a good fit.

  110. Julie Harrison  March 24, 2014 at 8:12 pm Reply

    I don’t understand why you would say that keeping something that belonged to your loved one may seem like a strange idea…really? I think even the most old-school thinking wouldn’t call this strange.

  111. Lisa  March 24, 2014 at 3:26 pm Reply

    Hello Litsa!

    Sooo sorry you could not find AfterTalk .

    Link is: https://www.aftertalk.com

    Would LOVE for you to share AfterTalk with your audience!
    We’re a perfect fit.

    Question: Are you attending the ADEC conference in Baltimore?
    We are. Would love to meet you!

    All the Best, Lisa

  112. Pamela  March 24, 2014 at 1:27 pm Reply

    Lista,
    I recently lost my cousin to a congenital liver disease that didn’t fit the method of determining the priority for receiving a liver transplant. He therefore had to get too sick to have the transplant and died. I had only, about 15 months ago, re-connected with him after 35 years. Since he was in end-stage liver disease, I really didn’t get to know him as a well, vivacious, young man. I also moved from WA to Tulsa, OK to care for him in his last three months.
    My comment is: not really knowing him, it’s hard to keep a connection, or in ways, make one. I do find your posts extremely helpful. At the same time, I would appreciate some comment(s) (maybe even a post) about losing someone when you haven’t had the chance to get to know them very well. I’m sure there are others who have lost someone at a very young age, or maybe even parents of pre-mature/still birth deaths who may appreciate some thoughts as well.
    I may not have said this all very well (in fact his liver doctor, who knew him for 3 years, said he was looking forward to meeting the real Mark)…I’m still sorting things out from Mark’s death and the way it has impacted me. I might not have known him well, but in ways this was a very intimate relationship and his death has hit me hard and very much by surprise.
    Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
    Pamela

  113. Kiri  March 24, 2014 at 1:23 pm Reply

    This year I am taking a trip Zoe wanted to do. After reading Thea Stilton and thy Mystery in Paris, she decided she wanted to go there, so we were planning to save for it. I will go to the Eiffel tower, Sacre Couer and the Opera House for her. She would have been 8 next week and like last year I will be going out to have her favourite breakfast, as well as doing other things to remember her, such as some things for The Angel Zoe Kindness Project.

  114. Kelly Cavanaugh  March 24, 2014 at 10:32 am Reply

    Great suggestions Litsa and I’ve done some of them myself. I have another to share if you don’t mind, it was suggested to me by a woman I didn’t really know, we were having a conversation about a condition in certain people called being reversed where they aren’t able to absorb nutrients. She was “reading” my body to see if I was “reversed”… and out of the blue she said, “Well, you’re fine but why is your mother here?” My mother had been dead for more than 20 years and I hadn’t said a word about her to this woman. I was shocked to say the least!
    Anyway, she said that my mom was always with me and that she wanted me to use automatic writing to communicate with me. So I did that 3 or 4 times and found a lot of peace and comfort from it and realized that I didn’t really need to do it anymore, that my mom had said what I needed to hear from her and that brought closure and much peace for me. Automatic writing involves getting into a meditative state, at least relaxed and in a quiet, peaceful place, and then picking up a pen or pencil and just writing whatever comes to mind without thinking about what you’re writing. It’s very cool and kind of strange but in the end, when you go back and read the words, there will be no doubt that the message is what you need to hear. I had prayed for so long for some kind of contact with my mom and those prayers were finally answered… or maybe I was just ready to hear.

    Bless you for the work that you do! <3

  115. Litsa  March 24, 2014 at 10:25 am Reply

    Thanks for sharing this information Lisa! I actually wanted to include your website in this post, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember the name! I did a Google search yesterday trying to find you guys, but I just kept getting information about writing sympathy cards. Apparently I was not using the best search terms!! I will definitely go back and add your website to the content of our post.

  116. Lisa  March 24, 2014 at 10:21 am Reply

    Hi Litsa (and Eleanor)!

    Both, my colleague Larry Lynn, and myself have really enjoyed your website and blogs.
    Love the information, love how you both share yourselves with your audience.

    http://www.AFTERTALK.com is EXACTLY what you are sharing today about
    continuing bonds. We feel and function in many of the ways you describe
    on your blog today.

    Not to be self promoting here…..that is not my intention….BUT
    AFTERTALK is an interactive grieve and loss website where all the
    things you mention can be shared in our “Private Conversation” section (privately).
    You can continue to write and share with your deceased loved ones.
    And share only what you want with selected “Family and Friends”.

    Well, THANKS for illuminating the subject of “Continuing Bonds”.
    There is still thinking that it is pathological or negative to continue to think
    about and share with someone who is deceased.
    But, I know how good it makes me feel to share with my deceased father.
    You don’t have to give up or forget someone who has died.

    Ladies, as always, THANK YOU for your inspiration !

    Lisa Bogatin, Co-Founder AFTERTALK

Leave a Comment

YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.